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talk-danmei-to-me · 16 days ago

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Ranking Every Danmei I’ve Ever Read: Spring 2025

To celebrate a year of being a danmei blog, I’ve decided to share my personal ranking of danmei I’ve read sharing what’s good, what’s not, it’s ability to peddle smut and who I’d recommend it to. I’m going in descending order for added tension 😉

12) Scum Villain’s Self Saving System

Pros: Conceptually, I dig it. Do I wish Airplane was the MC - yes. Do I wish that Airplane and Shen Yuan banged - yes. If that happened would I have finished - probably.

Cons: Luo Binghe is not my Shizun fucker! Currently, it’s the only danmei I’ve dropped. It’s kind of boring and being a transmigration into a novel, it’s hard to care about any of the characters because they’re not real? Also if you’ve read a lot of bl Shen Yuan’s ‘I’m not gay’ trope has definitely been done better elsewhere.

Smut peddler rating: I dropped it before I got to the good part, but if mdzs is any kind of marker - I’ll grade it unsexy but present.

Recommended for: Transmigration fans. Maybe?

11) Heaven Official’s Blessing

Pros: It’s honestly the ultimate gateway drug into danmei, its donghua is on point and it’s super accessible. It’s got some solid side characters and I did really enjoy some of the volumes. I read all of the extras.

Cons: Some of the volumes are an absolute slog to get through. I honestly think it’s way too long. The way it’s written is very caperlike which I think damages the cohesion a bit. It’s almost like a series of related short stories.

Smut peddler rating: censorship got this one, but it still manages to have its horny moments. You’ll never look at dice the same.

Recommended for: fans of fluff and workplace shenanigans.

10) Grandmaster of Demonic Cultivation

Pros: gateway drug into

Cons: You need to read this early in your danmei journey otherwise the politics won’t hit. Mxtx plays with a lot of fun tropes here, but when you start reading more widely, they’re definitely done better elsewhere.

Smut peddler rating: Poor. Lan Wangji does not believe in foreplay and lube is a myth in the cloud recesses.

Recommended for: fans of courtly drama.

9) Lip and Sword

Pros: Toxic Workplace Yaoi in my danmei! With regular smut (the word cock has never been used so much!) Lip and Sword is vibes. The television studio was a novel setting and the toxicity was on point.

Cons: No shade to Via Lactea, but the editing in this is not good and over time that can become jarring. Also I feel like the big mystery element kind of fell apart at the end. I suppose the whole thing is about corruption but the pay off didn’t feel very satisfying.

Smut peddler rating: These boys be descriptive fucking every other chapter. It’s just a shame the grammar is not supporting their shenanigans.

Recommended for: longtime fans of toxic yaoi, salaryman flavoured bl and general workplace fuckery. It’s boku no sh does monogamy.

8) To Rule in a Turbulent World

Pros: You Miao is the funniest bitch I know and I will always champion Fei Tian Ye Xiang. The politics are very present. Zhao Chao is also one of my favourite side characters. I adore him.

Cons: Li Zhifeng is honestly so dull to me as a LI. Also suffers from being a Via Lactea production.

Smut peddler rating: Chapter 3 is famous in the danmei community for a reason. A whole chapter dedicated to explicit sex with a little sprinkling of kink. Also skinship in this novel is off the scale. Sexual tension didn’t bother to show up though. Very established relationship from the start.

Recommended for: fans of Ballad of Sword and Wine. You like reading about the dramas of grain - have more! Also Remnants of Filth - more of that young master/slave dynamic.

7) Remnants of Filth

Pros: ALL OF THE ANGST! Also it feature shady bitch Murong Lian. Early on it has some solid plot twists and Mo Xi is the ultimate danmei sad boy if you’re into that sort of thing.

Cons: If it’s not your first Meatbun it will feel tame. Also I found that I just stopped caring from vol 6 onwards. It’s well known that this isn’t the story Meatbun wanted to write and I think you feel that once you hit a certain point. She just stops caring and plot points and tropes are thrown into the void and I just know she could do better.

Smut peddler rating: It’s there but it definitely feels like Meatbun’s weakest work. But for fans of the omegaverse please note that Gu Mang has a self lubricating hole and that will never not be iconic.

Recommended for: Chengxian shippers. Mo Xi is Jiang Cheng with main character energy. Becoming sort of a demonic cultivator I guess makes Gu Mang Wei Wuxian.

6) Ballad of Sword and Wine

Pros: Cezhou are everything! When things are delivering in Qjj the world is your oyster - the eunuchs are eunuching, the gays are fucking, donkeys are getting murdered for sport. It’s giving Game of Thrones when it was still good minus the dragons in Ancient China. What’s not to like?

Cons: Why are there so many side characters? Also the politics do ride on heavy. You will absolutely forget who people are and if you’re along for the Cezhou ride, be prepared to go off on tangents about grain.

Smut peddler rating: Genius. Censorship took out some of the fun but Cezhou are definitely speedrunning every kink. Between foot jobs, fucking on a horse and Shen Zechuan Calling Xiao Chiye daddy, bl fans are well fed with this one.

Recommended for: Fans of Captive Prince, anyone who wishes Jin Guangyao was the main character and people who really love reading about grain.

5) Guardian

Pros: Has a talking cat, the yearning and the longing is so high. Zhao Yunlan gets blue balled so hard he comes out to his mother. Shen Wei is such a delicious character. The side characters are all well fleshed out and adorable. It’s sort of fluffy work place yaoi, but with a constant sense of impending doom.

Cons: You will probably get lost with what the fuck is going on at some point.

Smut peddler rating: Fade to black because it’s Priest BUT Shen Wei has canonical murder come that can only be fixed with a casual bit of blood drinking so even though the explicit content is low, the payoff is high.

Recommended for: Fans of tgcf, anyone who loves office shenanigans, people who love Chinese mythology.

4) Riverbay Road Men’s Dormitory

Pros: I adore literally everyone in this book. I’m invested in everyone’s love lives and the slice of life aspect never gets boring because these fuckers are all shady bitches. There’s also an element of realism

Cons: Huo Sichen is king of dull as a LI. This seems to be a bit of a Fei Tian issue. Guess he’s just too good at writing side characters.

Smut peddler rating: High! It’s Fei Tian after all. I’ve never been so emotionally invested in mutual masturbation and someone definitely fucks a pillow. Post nut clarity is a sentence you will read too many times.

Recommended for: Slice of life fans and those who want more modern danmei.

3) Case File Compendium

Pros: Meatbun is living her best life with this one. He Yu is an obsessive theatre kid with mummy issues and I love him to the moon and back. Xie Qingcheng is rocking that repressed sad boy energy I cannot say no to. It’s unhinged. Embrace the chaos. There’s something really nostalgic about Case File Compendium if you are a long term bl fan.

Cons: The first volume is diabolical.

Smut peddler rating: Meatbun went to town with this one. Non con at an all time high. Nostalgic for long term fans of bl.

Recommended for: fans of toxic yaoi. It’s basically a modern au of the Husky and his White Cat Shizun. Apparently there’s a Sci-Fi element that I live in fear of.

2) The Husky and his White Cat Shizun

Pros: Mo Ran and Chu Wanning are everything to me. It’s absolutely hilarious and the mix of fluff and angst is just right.

Cons: I feel like the toxic yaoi is underutilised. The evil timeline is so good but there’s also an element of it not counting which as a fan of villainy makes me a bit sad. Also I don’t have a lot of faith in Meatbun being able to stick a landing.

Smut peddler rating: High. If you liked Wei Wuxian fucking a sword in his dreams - Chu Wanning will raise you a candlestick in real life. Meatbun really buys into foreplay as well. That she went with intercrural sex for Ranwan’s first time will never not blow my mind.

Recommended for: fans of bl who want to branch out into danmei.

1) Legend of Exorcism

Pros: It’s basically a gay fantasy RPG. There’s a nice sprinkling of angst throughout. Li Jinglong is an absolute diamond. He’s saved Fei Tian’s LI’s for me. The amount of questing going on here is so pleasing. Everyone’s dynamics are so enjoyable and like with all Fei Tian novels, gay characters acknowledge that they are attracted to men. There’s no gay for you nonsense going on here.

Cons: It is threatening on becoming a slow burn.

Smut peddler rating: 0 so far, but there’s been a lot of erections. Also, it’s Fei Tian and I believe in him. Li Jinglong is just waiting to destroy someone and Kong Hongjun is begging to be railed. When these two finally get their shit together the result is going to be pure debauchery and I am here for it.

Recommended for: Everyone.

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askthefamous8 · 8 months ago

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Even if I haven't been very active lately, 9 years is still pretty significant- happy birthday to the blog!

So like Percy up there I'm gonna do so dome reflecting. This blog's where I've often done that for some reason, but here's the tl'dr for blog related stuff.

• I would like to keep drawing stuff but feeling generally unsure in myself, and I'm wondering if all the years of fandom harrassment have caught up with me • I have one big project in mind, I've been dipping my toe into what I'd need to do it. No spoilers but it was one of the first things I played around with this series, so do with that what you will • If I can keep myself drawing, I want to use more of the original source material since I'm struggling with original ideas. So stuff like redraws, hOpEfULlY even animatics, just like what originally got me so into trains yknow? Because that's fun and sparks joy. And that always goes down a treat with you guys so bonus • As always I appreciate you guys not coming after me for being so inconsistent

The rest of this is me doing what Percy's doing in the drawing and reflecting, as there is indeed much 2 think about. It's also a little sad and venty so, there's your warning there.

Ok so obviously a busy year, we moved into our new house that we actually own, I spent most of the year planning our wedding, and then got married. Big stuff. Also! I came off antidepressants in the summer. I've been on them for...basically as long as this blog, 6 months after I started it I think. Which also means I'd been on antidepressants my entire adult life. Feels like a big deal and I guess I'm still adjusting.

Another big thing, but sad, is that my dog died about two weeks ago. If you follow me on twitter you'll have seen her but she did make an appearance here a few Halloweens ago

I got her when she was 13 and had her 8 years after that. So that's been difficult. Unrelated to that (probably), but I just feel...really mediocre. And before you point out the obvious, this has been present even before I came off antidepressants. But yeah just... mediocrity. In myself as a person, how I look, what I draw, my whole life really (barring my marriage thankfully). What have I achieved? I'm 26, I'm not working, I don't feel well, my art isn't good (I don't think so anyway- like yeah it's technically fine I guess but it's not, and has never been, very stand-out or impressive). And lately art doesn't bring me the same joy it once did, and I'm wondering if all the years of harrassment from this fandom (mostly the twitter side, tumblr's been pretty good to me) has finally caught up with me and put me off the whole thing. Or worse, that I just don't have as much of an interest in it anymore. I don't think I'll ever be like "ok yep I'm officially done with this blog" because I'm so stubborn but idk. I want to make things and be creative, I want to make more train art, but it doesn't feel the same. I don't know what's wrong. What do you listen to? What you want vs what you feel? I still enjoy train stuff, I love going to Awdry Ex every year. It's been like this for awhile. It's not even like I have a strong feeling of what I'd rather be doing as far as careers go. And even if I did, oh yeah I'm sure my two degrees in animation will be very relevant in another field (sarcasm). I feel adrift. My sails are open but there is just no wind. Planning my wedding gave me something to do and work on and just, feel useful but now that that's over I feel lost again. Losing my dog, who had become the center of my life because of how vulnerable she had become, hasn't helped.

On the more creative side of things, I also don't really know what to do with this blog's story either. The show's ended as far as most people are concerned, and I kiiinda wrote myself into a corner because once Thomas turns 18 he's going to leave for university, and that sets off this whole arc with James but basically the problem is it involves characters leaving and for some reason that feels like a no-no here. Don't get me started on the timeline lol. But Thomas works on a railway on Sodor, that's how it has to be...right? I guess I'm sort of at a crossroads of, ok do I want this to be close to the source material, and thus easily digestible to newcombers? Or do I want to make it more and more my thing and distanced from the source material? I doubt there's many new people coming since the series ended. And even then, there's a lot more humanization artists around now than when I started, so it's not like I'm filling a niche anymore. Just to be clear it's fine and also good that there's more humanization artists, variety is good, I just don't feel as "needed" anymore (which is 100% in my head and not an actual role that belongs to me or something). I started this blog when I was 17, so my interests and what I relate to have changed obviously. The character designs certainly have. It's never followed a super rigid story plan, but the core of it has always been the central cast doing things on Sodor. I however have always had a scene/project/animatic/whatEver in mind for when this 'series' would '''officially''' ''''end''''. But then what comes after that? I've always tried to run this blog like they are Real People that You interact with. But in real life there is no ending to the story, there's always more stuff to come. You get married, and it's wonderful, and then life goes on. The credits never roll. So maybe that's what I'm having trouble coping with...the progression of time. Ah, my old nemesis. I've always had trouble with letting go of things. There's nothing to say that I couldn't still draw stuff after the series "ends". I guess any story after Thomas leaves could be like... a sequel series or a spin off or something. Spin-off of a spin-off. Famous 8 All Grown Up. Famous 8 Qurter Life Crisis. Who knows. I certainly don't.

I've also been really into an original project unrelated to this but those don't get as much attention and while I'd like to do something with it one day, I don't feel very confident in being able to make that happen right now. But you know... as far my as art not being super spectacular goes... I think my individual talent has always been is my ideas, like the writing side of things. And then brought to life with my art, which normally isn't anything to write home about but is good enough to convey the idea and be not-awful to look at, lifts both of them beyond what they were individually. Maybe that's what I should focus on. Maybe that's wishful thinking.

So....idk. Idk what I'm doing but I'm trying to be gentle on myself and just let myself continue to drift, to heal from this heavy loss, and then in the New Year I'll try and pick myself up. Then there will be no more big once-in-a-lifetime events coming up, no more just-moved-into-a-house-and-oh-no-there's-a-bunch-of-things-that-need-attention-NOW scenarios, and no more big holidays for awhile. I guess we'll see.

If you read all of this I am so sorry but also thank you for reading my ramblings. And thank you for being around, whether that's been for a few months or for several years, but especially if it's been several years

#blog anniversary #happy anniversary 2024 #percy #sleepyart #sleepy speaks #oh man does sleepy speak

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intrepidacious · 19 days ago

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three: every day's a holiday [2/3]

» time after time series: chapter three

this is a repost of my time loop fic in shorter parts for greater reading convenience. please refer to the series masterlist for more context.

series summary: After what starts out as a fairly normal mission, you find yourself stuck in a time loop. Which would already be bad enough in itself if it didn’t also mean having to watch Bucky die over and over again.

pairing: bucky barnes x f!reader

word count: 3.1k

chapter warnings: one last reminder to internalize the premise of the fic, i will just assume you know what’s up from this point on; canon-typical violence; mention of alcohol; some more permanent damage; even more banter. please note that my blog is rated 18+. minors dni. ageless/empty blogs will be blocked without warning.

series masterlist | main masterlist | read on ao3

On day ten, you get drunk.

Because what the hell does it matter, anyway? You crave a bit of nothingness, a void that will make the guilt and anger and sadness finally alleviate, if only for a little bit. You’re so sick of this.

Every time you eliminate another threat during the mission, something else goes to shit unexpectedly. You can’t keep up with what Sam or Bucky are going to do the same way you control your own actions.

It’s this realization, combined with your still slightly tipsy state when you wake up with yet another gunshot still ringing in your ears, that makes you see you cannot, in fact, take care of this on your own. There are simply too many factors for one person to consider.

So really, you’re out of alternatives.

You stumble to your bedroom door just in time for the knocking.

“Rise and shine, Mc—”

“Sam, I need your help.”

He blinks at you, one fist still raised as he takes you in, his grin falling away. “You—what in the—is that blood?”

“It’s not mine.” You usher him into your room and close the door with your foot. “I fucked up.”

“Yeah, I can tell,” Sam says, eyebrows furrowed in alarm. “What the hell did you do, rob an ambulance and take a bath?”

“I’m stuck in a time loop!” you blurt.

To his credit, it takes him a full second or two before he laughs, and even then, it’s short-lived. “You’re stuck in a—you’re serious,” he says, noticing your helpless expression.

Slowly, you nod and hold up the hand with the green circle wrapped around your wrist. There’s a pause as Sam alternates staring at the symbols and your blood-speckled skin while he processes.

“How on earth did you manage that?”

You take a deep breath. “Ten days ago, it was July 4th. The three of us went on a mission—you’ll get a message in a few hours. And I—I somehow just—it went south, and Bucky died. He died, and I got stuck.”

Sam has his brooding face. “Has Bucky died since then?”

“Every single time.”

“That his blood?”

You nod, tears prickling behind your closed eyes.

“And I’m guessing you can’t stop it.”

“Yup,” you say, swallowing thickly.

“Christ.”

To your surprise, he pulls you in for a hug. It’s a bit awkward, because you try your best to angle your bloody hands away from his shirt, but it also makes you realize how long it’s been since anyone has hugged you for longer than a short greeting.

Sam notices your discomfort, of course. “Is this the first time you’re telling me?” he asks.

You nod again and he squeezes you slightly.

“Have you told Bucky?”

A desperate laugh bubbles up in your chest. “Are you crazy? What good would that do?”

Sam looks at you with a serious expression. “I’m just saying,” he tells you gently. “If you know it’s going to be his last day, he might want to know that.”

“But it isn’t,” you protest, taking another step back. “None of this was supposed to happen. If it were, it’d be July 5th, but instead, I’m stuck here and my powers don’t work at all and I—I don’t know what to do.”

You turn on the bathroom light with your elbow and start scrubbing the blood off your skin under the scorching hot water. It’s already started to dry under your nails. Once you’re done, you take a moment to stare at yourself in the mirror. The scratches on your face have almost healed.

Sam is sitting on the edge of your bed by the time you return. “I know he’s taboo or something, but have you tried contacting the wizard guy?” he asks.

You plop down next to him. “Nope. And I’m not going to.”

“They might be able to help you.” They’re only going to make things even worse.

“Sam—”

“I don’t know what your problem with them is, and I don’t need to know. But is it worth more than Bucky’s life?”

Well, fuck.

“Strange found me on my second rerun, somehow. With some weird mirror reality shit,” you admit, clearing your throat. “Pretty sure I pissed him off.”

“Let’s do that again, then.”

“Alright,” you say sarcastically. “Let me just pull out my book of magic tricks that I’ve kept secret until now.”

“You do know the man has a phone and an address in the Village, right?”

There’s a beat. “I … hadn’t thought of that,” you confess quietly.

Sam rolls his eyes. “All of you with your super serum and your weird powers, and none of you have a single brain cell to spare.”

“Rude.”

He ignores you and stands up. “FRIDAY, please set up a virtual call to Stephen Strange in the conference room in fifteen. And tell Bucky to get his ass up there.”

“Yes, Captain,” FRIDAY confirms.

“I hate it when you go cap mode at me,” you mumble.

“I don’t care,” he says, pulling you up to your feet. “Seriously, Y/N. Ten days of this bullshit on your own, this is like the self-sacrificing crap Steve used to pull.”

You scrunch your nose in protest. “I resent that.”

“Good!”

* * *

“So,” you finish with a slightly manic smile. “Any questions.”

“Several,” Bucky says dryly.

To be fair, you should have expected that.

Filling Bucky in on your situation—on his situation—has to be one of the most uncomfortable things you’ve ever had to do. You don’t exactly relish in telling a man about his imminent demise. Particularly not when he has the tendency to look like a kicked puppy on a good day.

You don’t know what to make of the expression that’s currently on his face. His gaze is strangely unfocused. You’re pretty sure he’s just indulging you because Sam’s clearly upset. He hasn’t stopped moving since Bucky entered the room.

“Why didn’t you say something sooner?”

You fidget around with your pitch black rings. “Because I’m the one who messed up. I should be the one to fix it. Except, I’m really shit at what I do.”

“Stop that,” Bucky says, leaning forward, frown deepening. “Fine. Why aren’t your powers working?”

“I don’t know. Same reason.”

He rolls his eyes. “Does your self-deprecation ever get tiring?”

What a disappointment you are, says the voice in your head. You push it down. “I don’t know, Bucky. You tell me.”

“I’ll stop if you do, Twelve,” he says with a slight grin, his head cocked to the side.

You grit your teeth. “See, here’s the problem, we could do that, but you’re going to forget you said that in a few hours.”

“I’m calling the mayor,” Sam interrupts, rubbing at his eyes with the palm of his hand. “Tell her I’m not gonna do the stupid speech.”

“No, you’re not,” Bucky says. “Goal is to break the loop, right? So there’s only one version of today. One normal version. Or d’you really wanna put your shield on the line again?”

“He’s right,” you say before Sam feels the need to answer that. “I know this is asking a lot, but I only told you so that you’d be more careful tonight. Both of you.”

You can only hope that it’ll make any difference.

“Alright,” Sam concedes, even though he definitely doesn’t like it. “But I’ll drop by Bleecker Street on my way home later. See if they’ll answer the door, at least.”

For reasons you don’t know but that don’t really surprise you, the time wizards have not deemed you worthy enough to pick up their phone. Honestly, you can’t find it in you to be mad about that, despite everything. They probably wouldn’t be able to help you anyway.

“So what’s the plan?” Bucky asks.

It’s only when you look up in the resuming silence that you realize the question is directed at you. You cough uncomfortably, twisting the ring on your pinkie finger so hard you feel it leave a burn.

“I don’t know,” you say quietly.

“Walk us through it,” Sam says, looking at his watch and exchanging a glance with Bucky. “We have about four hours until I leave. Maybe we can get somewhere with this.”

You’re about to nod when Bucky stands up, tilting his head for you to follow him. You do, slowly, arms wrapped around yourself, feeling like he’s about to shout at you in private. Instead, he pulls his jacket on.

“What are you doing?” you ask.

“We are getting you coffee,” he says, shoving a pair of your shoes that are lying on the floor next to the coat rack in your direction. “You look like you’re about to drop down dead, and Sam’s right. We need to know what’s gonna happen.”

You bite the inside of your cheek while you stand next to him in the elevator. It should be discomforting, the way he’s able to read you without ever needing multiple tries, and it is, most of the time, but today …

You’re so tired.

“I need you to promise me something,” Bucky says, clearing his throat. You look at him expectantly. “If this still goes wrong today—”

It tears at you. “Bucky—”

“—you tell me first the next time, alright,” he continues, ignoring your interruption. He keeps staring at the elevator doors. “Not Sam, not anyone else.”

You want to tell him it isn’t going to go wrong anymore, but you’ve never been able to lie to him. So you hold up your pinkie finger and murmur, “Okay.”

The entrance hall of the Tower is mostly empty, but the streets are starting to get busy, people heading towards the nearby train station or walking their dogs. The steady buzz of traffic does wonders for your aching head.

“You should tell me something I couldn’t possibly know about you unless you told me yourself,” you say as you’re waiting in line at Starbucks.

You can feel Bucky staring at you for a long time, sizing you up. “No,” he says, finally.

“I’m not gonna be able to convince you if Sam doesn’t vouch for me,” you huff. “You’re going to think I’m insane.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

You roll your eyes and move up to the register, waving hi to your fellow partners and ordering your usual after some delightfully normal small talk. “What do you want?” you turn to Bucky.

“Coffee.”

“What kind?”

“Just … coffee.” You’d be more annoyed at his answer if he didn’t look genuinely confused.

“Drip, then?” your coworker Lucy offers helpfully, reaching for a paper sleeve.

“Sure,” Bucky shrugs, again somewhere else entirely with his mind. “Can I borrow your pen for a second?”

She hands it to him and swipes your member card. “You working this weekend?” she asks you.

“Not ‘til Wednesday,” you say, signing your receipt.

“Boo, lucky. I should go down with my hours, too. I feel like I’m in every day.” She spots the person behind you getting antsy and sighs. “Hi, welcome to Starbucks, what can I get started for ya?”

“Why do you need a pen?” you ask Bucky while you’re waiting.

“You stay the same when you go back, right? That hasn’t changed?”

You frown at the odd question. “I mean, I wake up in yesterday’s pajamas every day, but I’m also still covered in your blood, so, kind of?”

Treating your situation with a little sarcasm is your only way of coping right now; thankfully, Bucky isn’t so different in that regard.

He nods, uncapping the sharpie. “Give me your hand.”

The request stuns you so much you don’t even ask him why, letting him pull you closer by the wrist, his bare fingers curling around your arm just above the green circlet of time runes for only a moment.

You could count the times Bucky has touched you skin to skin on one hand, but on every instance he does, it’s with a strange ease, as if he were doing it all the time. It sets your nerve endings on fire, though. The cool of his vibranium arm makes the tiny hairs in your neck stand up.

You’re just not used to it, is all.

He writes something on your inner arm, right below the elbow, and you turn your head to try and make out the scrawled letters.

“Nose led what?”

“That’s an F,” Bucky says, a faint blush on his cheeks, but he keeps writing. “No self-deprecation. That goes for both of us.”

Touché. If the note stays through the loop, he’s not going to be able to deny his own handwriting tomorrow. You squint at the rest of it. “What does that say?”

“That’s not for you.” He smirks and puts the cap back on the sharpie. “Now keep that safe, would ya?”

“Is that Russian?” you ask, almost twisting your neck while balancing your coffee with the other hand.

“Ask me tomorrow,” Bucky says, taking a sip of his own drink. His mouth twitches downwards involuntarily. “And don’t just google it.”

You definitely want to google it, but his reaction distracts you just enough. “You know you’re not supposed to make that sort of face when you drink coffee, right?” you say, hiding your amusement behind your own cup.

“I’m not making a face.” He makes it again and you grin.

“You totally are.” It’d be almost endearing if it weren’t Bucky. “Have you ever tried drinking coffee literally any other way than,” you gesture at his black bean water, “that?”

“Why do you care?”

“I don’t, I’m just saying!” You close your eyes at the cool gust of air that hits you when you reenter the Tower. “It’s the little things, sometimes.”

“Guess so,” Bucky says absently, and doesn’t speak again for the entire elevator ride.

Somehow, that’s the moment that flashes through your mind hours later, when there’s a wound in his chest that won’t stop bleeding. That little downwards curl of his lips when he drinks his coffee.

You’ve never noticed it before.

* * *

“Take the towel on the right, I already used the other one.”

You watch him hang up the piece of cloth and turn his back. For some reason, your heart is racing.

He’s not going to believe you. You’re just not sure if that makes it better or worse.

“Hey, Bucky?” He’s almost at the door by the time you make yourself open your mouth, half-turning as you awkwardly shuffle closer, tugging at your sleeve. You wish there’d been time to wash the sweat off before you had this conversation, but okay. “I have to tell you something and it’s going to sound strange, but I promise I’m not leading you on.”

Bucky stares at you expectantly. “Okay …?”

You swallow the lump in your throat. “Considering the, you know, everything about me, this might not be a surprise as much as … I don’t know, a shock, maybe?” You feel like this went better yesterday. You definitely didn’t ramble this much. “I mean, it’s a crazy situation even for me, but I’m just going to tell you anyway. I’m in—”

“Crazy?” His expression hardens somewhat, and an irritated flush appears on his cheeks. “Why is it crazy?”

You laugh nervously. “Trust me, you’re gonna think so, too.”

Bucky continues frowning, his eyes fixated on something behind your head. Fine, you think, here goes nothing.

“I’m stuck in a time loop.”

Several things happen on Bucky’s face in such rapid succession that you can’t quite make them out. In the end, he settles on his eyebrows tilting upwards in confusion. “Sorry, could you say that again?”

“I told you it sounds insane. But I’m stuck in a time loop.” You drag your sleeve up, careful not to smudge the ink on your skin even more. “Look, this is your handwriting.”

“How?” Bucky says lowly, his eyes narrowed ever so slightly. “I mean, how long?”

“This is my twelfth July fourth.” You bite the inside of your cheek. “I tried resetting—something, and it backfired. And now I’m, well … stuck.”

Bucky runs a hand through his hair, contemplating you for a couple of seconds. “Why are you telling me?” he asks finally.

“Because—” The words get stuck in your throat when he looks at you like that. The last time you’ve seen his eyes, they were unfocused, empty. Now, they’re blue like the ocean and just as alive. You hate that they’ve ever looked anything but. “Because later today, you are going to die,” you finish quietly.

Bucky blinks. And then he does nothing at all, he just keeps staring at you, blankly. It makes you squirm.

“I swear, I’m not—pulling a horrible prank on you or anything, I just—”

“I believe you.” There’s nothing in his voice, not even a hint of emotion.

You turn your head away to inconspicuously rub your eyes dry. “Good, that—that’s good,” you manage.

“How did it happen?” He sounds so matter-of-fact it makes you want to scream.

You push it down. “It’s different each day. First couple times you got shot. Yesterday—yesterday you took a knife.” You don’t tell him it was because of you again. You can’t.

“That’s not … Okay.” Bucky takes a breath, taking a small step backwards so he leans against the door. “So are we getting attacked or …”

“There’ll be a mission later. In a couple of hours.”

He nods, not meeting your eye. “Good.”

Something inside you shatters. “Good?”

“It gives us time to come up with a plan. What about you, and Sam?” His hands ball into fists. “Are you going to get hurt?”

“We’re fine,” you nearly snap. How is he not grasping this? “You’re not.”

“Have you told him?”

You cross your arms in front of your chest. “Not as far as he remembers.”

“Good,” Bucky repeats, nodding slowly. “Don’t. He has enough to worry about. We’re gonna work this out.”

“The two of us?” you say skeptically. “Yeah, that definitely sounds like it’s gonna work out great.”

He heaves a sigh and pushes the door open, eyes slowly dragging over your frame. “It’ll have to,” he says, and there’s something strange in his voice that makes you soften a bit.

“You’re gonna be fine,” you say, but it doesn’t soothe your nerves, either. “It’s something about that mission, I think. ‘Til then, you’re gonna be …” You trail off.

There’s the tiniest bit of a crooked smile in the corner of Bucky’s mouth. “Guess it’s finally time to pick up fire-eating.”

“No time like the present,” you agree half-heartedly.

“Right.” His frown is still more determined than worried as his gaze trails back to your arm again, one foot in the doorway. “Listen, there’s actually something I should …” You can see the gears in his head turning, but he trails off, shaking his head. “Go shower, Twelve.”

The door closes behind him before you can ask what that was about.

You wash the sweat and grime off under the hot water, but you’re careful to stick one arm out of the stream. The ink smears only a little.

part 1 | series masterlist | part 3

#bucky barnes x reader #bucky barnes fic #bucky barnes x you #bucky x reader #bucky barnes fanfiction #bucky barnes series #marvel fanfic #mcu fanfic #time after time #tat chapter parts #every day's a holiday

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leagueofprotagonists · 6 months ago

Note

Your opinion on Izuku Midoriya on the post you made on Stillness-in-greens post is really eye opening

I liked Izuku during Act 1 & 2, but when the Villain Hunt Arc happened I couldn't see him the same anymore

Especially when the conclusion of the final Arc happened

It's then when re reading the story, it becomes a lot clearer the Izuku is someone who expects people who suffer to bear the pain and conform

Him telling Shoto that forgiving Enji makes him a good person was just...

I really don't know what to say

I do agree with you saying he'd make for a good Villain aganist the League

Since he's someone who conforms to the system and protects it (Saying this kinda reminds me of the Matrix movie, Agent Midoriya lol)

Good luck on your AU 😊

Yeah, and the sad part is, is how he proved so many of the early criticisms right, I went into the show/manga liking him. He wasn't my favourite character but I liked him well enough, and I thought most criticisms were unfair.

Yes, he got One For All by chance, but so did everyone else at birth, and he did work to earn it once the opportunity was there.

Yeah, he wasn't working out before that, but most ways would require cash and/ or parental permission, and Japan has an insane bullying problem and is known for taking school very seriously.

Yeah when you're constantly being bullied and no one has your back, it's hard to have a spine because having one typically gets you hurt worse

And then he proved them right. He proved that he is a spineless coward that won't do anything to achieve his goals on his own

I can't even call it character assassination as it's not that this shit is new, it's that he became the worse possible version of himself and canon won't acknowledge it. And yes I am bitter, I am bitter that I was invested in seeing this character improve, only to find out he gets worse and worse as time goes on

---

One early warning sign of Midoriya's character is how right after the battle trials he rushes to partially tell Bakugou about OFA. So it's not in the heat of the moment, and with how it's done it's not to call out Bakugou's main character syndrome. It's that he's placating Bakugou. Bakugou is just the perfect metaphor for Deku and the hero's society issues, that they will not acknowledge that they/ it are just shit. That it is all about the glory, and they aren't going to solve any of it because they are allergic to the idea of accountability. And that once someone has the hero label on them, they can be the shittiest human being imaginable because they won't be held accountable. And this was before the series started constantly kissing Bakugou's ass

---

Also I hate Deku becoming a teacher, but the biggest point for me is that he's only a teacher, and no one else in 1A didn't become a hero, even with them saying oh the need for heroes went down, none of them opted out. As I've put on my main blog, Deku knows Hatsume Mei, and Melissa Shield, both characters who are eager to create support gear, why didn't he contact them in 8 years. Both All Might in his last fight, and Mirio with Overhaul have proven heroes can fight quirkless. So what the fuck was he doing? It certainly wasn't working out. Why the fuck was he waiting for someone to gift-wrap him the opportunity again? He never considered any other career while he was being bullied and told no for being quirkless, so what the fuck. You can't just choose to be a teacher, it does require a degree unless UA is just 100% disregarding that entirely.

And with it being a teaching job specifically, I'm going to say it. DEKU SUCKS AT EXPLAINING ANYTHING. In the whole series the closest we ever see him show any interest in 'teaching' anything is the sports festival when he offers to give Uraraka a plan to beat Bakugou, which she declines so no idea if it was any good. But start of the Endeavor agency arc, he overcomplicates and mumbles what he's trying to do with his quirk. It's not what he's saying that's complicated, it's that he's a shit explainer. When he realizes that concentrating all of OFA in a tiny area is a bad idea he announces a metaphor with zero context, during a meal. If it was just his thought process, I wouldn't care, but it's that he's doing it constantly when he's talking to people.

I actually plan on writing a comparison between the teacher ending of My Hero Academia and Assassination Classroom because holy fuck they did it infinitely better

#bnha #mha #my hero academia #boku no hero academia #league of protagonists #league of villains #mha meta #bnha meta #bnha au #mha au #anti deku #anti midoriya izuku #anti bakugo #anti bakugou

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nipuni · 1 year ago

Text

Time for an old school blog post, Hello!

Just various updates about life and shows and clothes and some photos! Adding a read more cut because I talk too much 😊

Happy equinox everyone!! The mild weather has been wonderful for daily park walks. We have been taking our meals outside as often as we can to make the most of it before summer scorches the land and all life. The longer days allow for a lot more wandering too but the imminent return of the heat is also making the longing to move up north worse by the day. We miss the choppy ocean and seaside cliffs 😭 We love the silence and the rain and the nippy sea breeze!! it's like being suspended in early spring for half the year and a rainy autumn the other half, Ideal if you don't mind humidity, but that's what wellies and flat caps are for. We have been looking for properties to rent to show up everyday so for now we lie in wait.

Speaking of nature, a few months ago we discovered a free app called Plantnet that you use to take and upload photos of plants, trees, flowers and it will identify them for you. You keep a log with their locations and can share them too to help contribute to each local biodiversity database. It feels like a pokedex for plants. There are many apps like this one to choose from too. It's been so fun learning what all these plants are called and memorizing them! I recommend it, is like a little educational side quest to take on while stretching your legs and getting some fresh air. This is not an ad I promise lmao I just think it's neat! kind of sad feeling the need to clarify that.

This weather is also making me want to start making outfit posts again! It's been so long since I made any!! my winter wardrobe is mostly long wool coats or capes and boots so the inspiration wasn't there but now I'm ready to pull out all my stuff back from under my bed storage and experiment again 👏 I've also been meaning to share some of Nicolas outfits for ages too so there is more variety, could be fun!

Speaking of clothes, lately I've grown more and more frustrated with how poorly most clothes fit me to the point where I'm considering learning how to make them from scratch. I usually have to take in the tops and hem the bottoms but most things I try on are just built weird even if I fix the size, or maybe I'm built weird! I think it may be both. Nicolas also said he would love to learn along with me so we will probably embark on that adventure soon. OH and on a short tangent, I got myself a sort of binder-like top that flattens the chest a bit and I'm loving it! I'm very flat already but what little bust I do have has always bothered me when I dress and I've found I feel a lot more comfortable in this type of top. I'm glad I tried it out so if you feel similarly you may want to give it a go too, see how it feels!

On the media side of things we have also been watching more of David Tennant's work. We are still very much in love with him to an embarrassing degree, you can probably tell if you follow me anywhere, my likes on twitter alone give me away alksjdf and Nicolas isn't any better! if he used social media his would look the same lmao.

Since my last report we have watched and absolutely LOVED "There She Goes" we already want to watch it again honestly. The family dynamics for all his characters are always so real and refreshing!! Their relationship with their wives especially are always so believable in every series we've seen, the comfort and camaraderie, the banter and just friendship! You can tell they enjoy each other's company, it feels true. I love it so much!!

We also watched "Inside man" which was..a very stressful mess but David was incredible as always, also very hot and very pitiful which is always great, and Stanley Tucci was on it! so that's also fun.

Then we rewatched season one of Good Omens and the first 4 seasons of Doctor Who, with all the extra content like the Confidentials, deleted scenes, video diaries and more, they are just so good!! our list of favourite episodes keeps growing, season four is incredible, we are loving all these seasons even more the second time around!! Now we are probably going to start watching either Classic Who or Torchwood, along with more of David's work. We were trying to pick what to watch during dinner the other day and Nicolas was like 'damn, David is not in this though, I miss him' and lmao same so now we just watch one show without him and one with him right after to cope 😂

OH we have also been doing more historical reenactment! Since the last one in the 20's we jumped back to Regency times. We have been putting our outfits together for a ball soon and hopefully another one in autumn in the UK 😊 1800 is the farthest back in time we've been yet so it's been fun doing research, finding pieces and learning the dances in class but also very hectic. I'll share more about this soon!

Then we also have a couple of 1900 events coming soon, so I'll be sharing more Edwardian looks as well, our favourite era!!

Anyway I think that's all for now, thanks for reading to whoever is doing so!! I know this is long and not a popular blogging format anymore but I enjoy it a lot, maybe some of you do too 🥰 I will reply to some messages soon, I'm so sorry I'm so bad at keeping up with those!! I've read them all and cherish every word 🥺 Thank you for supporting my art and shenanigans as always!! I hope you have a great week!!

#personal #DW report #of sorts tho I should swap to DT report at this point lmao #I may need a blogging tag so let's just do #that should suffice #nipuni photos #nipuni blogs

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joels-shitty-puns · 2 years ago

Text

The Key To Your Heart - Track 10

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader

Series Summary: After writing your feelings for Pedro into a song, it gains a lot more popularity than expected. Ultimately it brings both criticism and support, with new possibilities around the corner.

Series Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Alluding to sexual scenarios. Kissing. Panic/Anxiety Attack. Fat shaming, name calling. Mentions of food, weight loss, weight gain, dieting, weighing, potential eating disorder, food guilt. Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f). Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).

Other stuff: Reader is plus sized. AFAB. Inexperienced. Also has a dog, but you can pretend it is another creature probably. Further, in case it isn't clear, italics almost always are the reader's inner thoughts!

Word Count: 6.6k

Series List: Here!

Miss Track 9? Here!

Hi!!!! Once again I want to apologize for taking so long with this. I can't seem to ever stay awake to do anything. That being said, here it is! This is the last main chapter of our little lovebirds. There will be at least one, likely two bonus tracks coming soon though :) Also there's a smidge of Spanish in here from Pedro, but the translation is included in the end of the sentence. I took some Spanish classes back in the day but I don't speak it and had to use Google translate. So if it ISN'T right and you do speak Spanish, please let me know lol. Anyway, I hope you enjoy these little cuties on their first date. There's a lot, a lot, a lot of kissing in here (sorry...) and overall they're just grossly in love lol. Please let me know what you think, and if you've seriously read this far, I LOVE YOU! This is my first series, and honestly my first fic other than the one I wrote in my diary lmao. Like the reader, I am incredibly inexperienced so writing a relationship has been a bit of a challenge and half the time I don't believe the actual words I'm writing. But I really only started writing it as a way to write down my daydreams :) So to have support means the world to me, and hearing people comment/DM me saying how much they relate has meant so much and makes me feel a lot less alone, because ultimately, it doesn't matter how fictional it is, most of reader's feelings are my own. To anyone else in the same boat, I get you! Hang in there. I think there's a Pedro out there for us all. Someday. Anywho, pardon my ramble. Thank you for reading, I hope you like it. ❤

The next morning, you woke up and stretched your limbs, rolling over in your comfortable bed as the sunshine poured in through the window. At the shuffling of your body, Skipper groaned, wiggling a little in bed, nearly shoving you off the edge. You reached for your phone, blinking through your sleep a couple times before seeing a text from Pedro. “Good morning beautiful! I can't wait for our date today. I was thinking maybe we could start around 2:30 and spend the day together, if you'd like. But if that's too much, we can just make it a dinner date. Up to you which you would prefer. I understand either way. Love you ❤️”

He wants to spend the whole day with me!? And he sent me a good morning text and called me beautiful? Then signed it with a heart and love you?!!!! How did I get this man?

Your grin eclipsed your face, making you squint. If Mr. Grumpybutt weren't sharing the bed with you, you'd probably squeal and kick your feet. Tapping your phone screen, you typed out a reply. “Morning handsome ❤️ I would love nothing more than to spend the day with you. I love you too!” You sent the message before crawling out of bed gently, receiving a dirty look from Skip.

“Alright Grump. Go back to bed. Geez,” you laughed. If looks could kill, you thought. He turned back on his side, letting out a grumble and sigh, resulting in a laugh from you. Acts like he pays rent and works 40 hours a week…

You took a relaxing shower, making sure to be all nice and fresh for your date with the man of your dreams. While brushing your teeth, you noticed he had replied. “Great, I can't wait. I'll be at your place at 2:30. :)”

“Can't wait to see you. What do you have planned? I'm wondering how to dress.”

“Wear whatever you feel good in, baby. I'm sure you'll look amazing. Probably something casual you can walk around comfortably in for the day. Maybe something a little dressier for the evening, but you don't need to carry it around. We will make a stop at your place before and you can change”

Wow he really has this planned out.

“What have you got planned, P? This sounds elaborate. You know you don't need to put in all that effort, I'm already yours ❤️”

“You deserve the world, my love.”

Dressed in a pair of leggings and a light sweater, you felt reasonably cute while still being comfortable for whatever activity Pedro had in mind. Plus, with the crisp November air, you would be nice and warm. You were just finishing tying your sneakers when your doorbell rang.

You opened the door to find your handsome boyfriend standing on your step, a bouquet of red roses in his hand. “Mi amor,” he handed you the roses, kissing your cheek and hand. “Thank you Pedro,” your cheeks heated. “Come in,” you pulled his hand across the doorway towards the living room. Skipper pushed past you to investigate, causing Pedro to drop your hand.

“Well there he is! That handsome boy!” Skipper’s tail wagged and his butt wiggled as Pedro crouched to give ear scratches. “Oh, I love you too,” Pedro answered when Skip kissed his face frantically. A fit of giggles erupted from Pedro, making your heart swell with joy. He has the cutest laugh, and the fact that your dog is causing it was surreal.

“You're just a beautiful boy! Aren't you?! Hermoso, igual que tu mamá,” he held Skipper’s face, kissing his nose. (Beautiful, just like your mama)

Your chest was filled with butterflies. Holy shit, he's charming. “Thank you, Pedro,” you said in a whisper, not even sure if he would hear. Turning his head from your dog, Pedro looked up at you, giving you a gentle smile; but the eye contact was quickly torn away when Skipper pressed a needy paw to Pedro's chest. Both of you now giggling, Pedro continued to pet Skipper, stopping to give him a hug and some more nose kisses.

“Alright. I gotta ask…” you prompted, causing Pedro to turn his head towards you again. “Are you just dating me to hang out with my dog?” You smirked.

Pedro turned back to Skipper, speaking in a low voice. “She's catching on to us buddy. We've been made.” You burst out laughing, Skipper looking over at you as if his plan really had been foiled.

Pedro gave a final pat on Skipper’s head before standing and walking over to you. “Nonsense,” he pecked a kiss to your lips. “I do love that sweet boy of yours,” he replied before turning his face to whisper in your ear. “But I'm absolutely enamored with you, Mamacita.” The hair on your neck stood as a chill rushed down your spine. You bit your lower lip, and he stared back into your eyes, leaning in for a passionate kiss.

“You look beautiful,” he tucked your hair behind your ear.

“You look rather handsome, yourself,” you replied. His hair was brushed back and to the side, his curls neatly swept and threatening to break free around his face. You wondered whether he asked for help to make his hair look extra nice for your date or if he styled it himself.

Running your fingertips over his patched salt and pepper beard, your hands found the small heart shaped patches near his chin. You brushed your thumb over his jaw before leaning in to press a kiss on the bare skin, causing his eyes to close as he let out a sigh. The whiskers tickled your cheeks as you continued kissing up his jawline, back across his cheek, and on his nose before pulling away to look into his eyes.

He opted to not wear glasses today, allowing you a closer look into his deep brown eyes which were softening under your gaze. “You ready to go, baby?” He asked you, his hand on your hip as he rubbed circles with his thumb.

“Absolutely,” you smiled. He wore a pair of dark jeans, tennis shoes, and a white button up shirt with the sleeves rolled to his forearm. He looked absolutely… incredible.

While you were grabbing your bag, he grabbed Skipper's leash. “Is Skipper coming too?” You asked, confused.

Skipper was twirling now, impatient to go somewhere.

“Sure is! Couldn't leave him out. But don't worry, you and I will have the night to ourselves,” he winked.

You looked downward, feeling shy and flushed. “Okay,” you giggled, clipping Skip to his leash and heading for the door.

“Do you want to take my car? You'll get dog hair and slobber in yours,” you offer.

“I don't mind! I love dogs,” Pedro replied, opening the door for Skipper to climb in the back seat. After closing the door, he opened the passenger door for you. Such a gentleman, you thought with a sigh, getting in and thanking him.

As the car sped along, you looked over at your boyfriend driving the car. Boyfriend! That'll never get old… you thought to yourself. The air conditioning blew the few loose strands of hair on the top of his head, and his left hand gripped the wheel, making the veins on his hand prominent. With his right hand, he reached over, holding your left in his, resting on top of your thigh.

He really did look beautiful. You couldn't help but stare at him as he expertly drove the car, hand flexing as he turned the wheel. His mouth pursed and he licked his lips, his tongue slowly jutting out to wet them.

Damn, I want those lips on mine. That tongue in my mouth, you thought, feeling rather warm, despite the air conditioning swirling around the car.

“So where are we spending the day?” You asked, trying to quiet the flames of attraction licking at your pulse.

“It's a surprise! But we're almost there,” he answered, rubbing his thumb over the top of your hand.

Pedro looked in the side mirror and laughed. “Babe, look at Skipper.”

You looked to see him with his head out the window, ears and lips blown back with the wind, his tongue lolled out to the side and blowing with the speed of the vehicle.

You both chuckled before you warned him, “your car is going to be covered in slobbers, Pedro!” He gave another quick look to Skipper before replying. “That's okay. It'll help me remember this day until I wash it again,” he looked over at you and smiled. It felt so natural. So… domestic, the two of you sitting in the car, going on a date, him holding your hand while driving, and the two of you laughing at your dog in the back seat. It was just perfect. Everything you dreamed.

He wasn't joking when he said you were almost there. It was only about five more minutes until the car pulled into the parking lot of the dog-friendly beach.

Stepping out of the vehicle, you took a deep breath, inhaling the familiar smell of salty sea air and hearing the chatter of gulls. The breeze blew your hair gently, but the day was relatively warm for November.

After the three of you exited the car, Pedro opened the trunk, pulling out a large picnic basket and tote bag. “You really came prepared, didn't you? Pedro, this is really special. Thank you.” Your eyes felt teary and the smile you held was genuine. Nobody has ever put this much effort into anything for you. Other than him.

“You don't need to thank me. I want you to be happy and I want the three of us to have a nice day,” he added, pecking your lips.

“Wait.. Pedro,” you frowned. “It looks kind of crowded. Should I be nervous about paparazzi or anything?” Your stomach bubbled with nervous energy.

“Don't worry, sweetheart. Celebs come here all the time. I've come here before. If they do, they might take pictures, but usually it's pretty low-key here. Try not to worry too much. I want you to have a nice time,” he squeezed your hand affectionately.

“Okay. I trust you,” you smiled at him as the three of you walked towards the sand, finding a nice place to picnic. Pedro unpacked, laying down a large blanket before setting up the spread of sandwiches, veggies, and fruit. He offered you a cold drink from the basket and the two of you sat, using a metal stake to secure Skipper’s leash near your blanket. He flopped onto his side, content to be sunbathing with some of his favorite people.

The lunch consisted of peaceful conversations and laughter, learning more about each other despite having talked for several months now. It seemed you could never run out of conversation topics. But even in the quiet moments, it wasn't uncomfortable. It felt relaxing. You were both content being able to sit together in silence and just enjoy each other's company.

After your meal, you packed up the basket and headed for the car again to put the things away, opting for a walk unburdened by carrying items across the sand. Neither of you brought a swimsuit today, but despite the California sun, it was still November, and the Pacific ocean was never really warm, even in the middle of summer. That didn't seem to bother Skipper very much though. As the two of you walked hand in hand near the water, barefoot in the wet sand, he ran laps around Pedro holding him on the leash, occasionally splashing through the shallow water before joining close by his family again.

He would definitely need a bath later, but you didn't mind. He was happy splashing around, having a great day. You were happy walking with the man of your dreams, fingers intertwined together. Everything felt right. You weren't even nervous, despite the way Pedro looked like the most handsome man you've ever seen, or the fact that he was famous, and that you occasionally received stares from other beach goers. Instead of the usual first-date nerves people get, you just felt love.

“So,” he started excitedly, “Obviously I have most of this date planned, but I also wanted to check in with you and see if you had anything particular in mind that you wanted to do together.”

You thought for a second, letting a memory burn into your thoughts. “Well,” you began, "I don't want to sound like a total creepy fan or anything...” you added, cautiously. You kinda were, with all the photos of him you had saved on your phone (prior to deleting them before your first meeting in person). But that's not important right now, and he probably doesn't need to know that. Maybe it can be a funny story later.

Pedro laughed, that cute little wheezy laugh he does with his giant smile that makes your stomach do somersaults. Those same somersaults you've been getting since you first saw that smile on the screen and knew you were absolutely screwed until you got over this crush. Or, unexpectedly, when you walked hand-in-hand with him, like you were now.

“But…?” he pondered, looking down at you sideways, with a playful smirk and those big brown eyes that could make you lose your mind. They absolutely glittered in the sunlight right now, reflecting all the joy and love he felt for you.

“Okay maybe I'm a little creepy…” you nudged him with your side, still gripping his hand in yours as the two of you walked peacefully. The beach was crowded, but you and him, and Skipper, were the only ones here as far as either of you were concerned. There could be a loud scream and it wouldn't compare to the squealing in your mind. A firework show would simply feel like a projection of your sparks. A tornado couldn't sweep you off your feet as well as he could.

“Is this where you tell me you've been watching me sleep through my window for the past three years or something?” He raised an eyebrow, playful smile still on his face as he licked his lips.

“What?” You squeaked, laughing. “No. I mean… I did have some pictures saved of you, and have maybe read a fictional story or two about you and your characters…” or a few thousand, you thought.

You cringed. Why the fuck did I say that out loud?!

Your cheeks felt hot and you diverted your eyes away from the man beside you, a nervous grimace painted across your mouth. He barked out a laugh, pulling you into his side for a hug. “Baby, you're cute. I don't mind that you used to read those. I don't even mind if you still do. No different than a book, right? Maybe it'll give us some fun date ideas.” He rested his head on top of yours innocently.

Oh, if only he knew the things you read.

“Right. Fun date ideas,” you smirked to yourself. He pulled away to look at you, eyebrow raising playfully.

“Sweetheart,” he interrogated in the same tone you use when Skipper steals a sock from the laundry, “what kind of stories are you reading about me and my characters, huh?” He lifted your chin to meet his eyes. You'd feel nervous from his tone if he didn't flash a smug, knowing grin at you.

“Oh, you know…” you shrugged. “Just the typical romance stuff,” you turned, facing him and resting your hand on his chest, tracing a circle over his heart with your finger. You felt his pulse pick up under your touch, and saw his Adam's apple bob as he swallowed.

“What kind of thoughts are going through that pretty head of yours?” He asked, raising his brow while you continued tracing little hearts into his shirt with your index finger.

“Wouldn't you like to know?” You winked before removing your hand from his chest. Starting to walk away, you continued your earlier statement. “Anyway, as I was saying-”

“Oh, no you don’t,” he interrupted, laughing. “Don't think you're getting out of this conversation that easy,” he gently pulled your forearm, stopping your movement and sending you twirling into his arms once again.

“Maybe someday I'll tell you,” you giggled, booping his nose.

“Someday? Why not tell me now?” He ran his thumb over your lip, eyes drifting down quickly before returning to your eyes.

“I'll show you the fanfics I read about you when I know you're stuck with me and you aren't going to run for the hills,” you laughed nervously, only partially joking.

His playful demeanor vanished before your eyes, turning into a look of… concern? Oh no. This is it. Where he realizes what a mistake he made. Where he says he doesn't want to be together. Where he breaks my heart.

He gently held your arm, rubbing soft strokes. “Honey. What are you talking about?” His soft brown eyes searched your face. You gulped, not wanting to make eye contact, but he again pulled your chin up, forcing you to look at him. “I…” you floundered for the words. “I don't want to scare you away.”

“Why would I be scared away?” he asked in almost a whisper, concern and sadness lacing his features.

“Because I just had this huge, huge crush on you. So, I read fanfics and I saved all your photos and I watched all your movies. I spent more time on social media looking for updates on you. Just so I could see you, or imagine what being with you would feel like. Like a total crazy person. An absolute psycho creeper.”

“Baby…” he brushed his thumb over your cheek. “You aren't any of those things. I actually think that’s kind of sweet. Although, it makes me a little sad thinking about the pain you must have felt, having these strong feelings and not having found each other yet.” He brushed your hair out of your face, settling his other hand on your waist before continuing.

“Feelings make us feel a little crazy sometimes, and although I never read fanfiction about you, or had any pictures to save, I would be lying if I said I didn't take a screenshot of us that first night you showed me your face.” He rubbed his neck bashfully.

Fanfic about me? What? If that even exists, I gotta see what people are saying…

“You did?” His admission surprised you, to say the least. He sighed before answering. “Yes. I had - have,” he corrected himself, “a pretty big crush on you too, baby. But I felt like I was betraying you in a way, taking a picture of you during our video chat. I just wanted to remember your face if I never saw it again,” he sighed.

“I fell in love with you the first time I heard your song... I heard you sing about your feelings and daydreams. So… you admitting about fanfiction and pictures isn't all that surprising.” You lowered your eyes in embarrassment.

“Hey, look at me.” He stroked your cheek. You looked up and he continued. “I took that picture because I had already fallen so head-over-heels for you that the first time I saw your face, I stopped breathing. Although I knew I wouldn't be able to get the image of you out of my mind, I couldn't risk forgetting the most beautiful woman I've ever seen in my life.”

You dropped your gaze again, cheeks feeling a permanent state of warmth and butterflies dancing from your stomach to your chest. “You don't honestly mean that, Pedro.” You sighed. “I appreciate it, but there's no way. I really don't know what you could ever see in someone like me,” you whispered, barely audible. If you weren't standing so close, he would've missed it.

Instead of responding, he dropped his arms from your body. At the loss of contact, your heart sank. But when you lifted your head to meet his eyes, he was fishing around his pocket for his phone. Calling an Uber to leave? Your self-doubt pestered.

A few taps to his screen later and he held up his phone. There you were, sitting at your table in your favorite dress, with your favorite food and flowers on the table. You had the biggest smile on your face and in the bottom corner, you could see Pedro looking handsome as always, and absolutely smitten with you, the largest grin painted across his features.

At the sight of the image, your heart warmed. “See what you mean to me?” He asked, putting his phone back into his pocket. You nodded, wrapping your arms around his neck. “I love you,” you choked out, leaning forward to mold your lips to his. They fit together perfectly. Like they were made for each other. He pressed back before opening his mouth ever so slightly to lick at your lips. Matching his movements, your tongues met, dancing a waltz in exploration as he pulled you forward by your lower back, seeming as if trying to get as close as possible somehow.

As the two of you paused for air, he ran his hand further down your back, just barely grazing the dip of your spine where your torso meets your butt. He gave you a look, almost to determine your reaction, asking permission to let his hand continue. When you didn't back away, going as far as pulling him closer around his neck and leaning in for another kiss, he pressed his lips against yours in return and let his hands wander a little further down. When his hand wrapped around the cheek of your ass, you squeaked. This is new… and I like it, you thought. His whole hand fit across your cheek. His huge hands. You whimpered as he gave a squeeze, like he was claiming you as his own.

“I love you too.” He finally responded, pulling out of the kiss to search your eyes. “So tell me… what was this activity you wanted to add to our date? The one you fear makes you sound like a creepy fan?” He let out a small laugh, brushing your nose with his.

“This,” you replied, pressing another kiss.

“Kissing?” He asked, rubbing his thumb over your waist and resting his forehead to yours. “I think we've already been doing that, if I'm not mistaken.” He pecked your lips with his.

“Yes,” you kissed. “Well,” kiss. “Actually,” you pulled away enough to explain. “I read this interview you gave a few years ago about your ideal first date?”

“Yeah?”

“You said something about ‘a date that doesn't feel like a date. And

hopefully by the end, or throughout, very

good kissing.” You said, slightly cautious at your memorization, a bit nervous at the implication of what you're saying.

“Oh, is that what you want?” He flashed his eyes up to look at you, giving a devilish smirk.

“Well, as someone who hadn't been kissed yet when I read it, I sorta lost my mind over it,” you laughed. “Obviously we've kissed before, but if it were up to me your lips would never leave mine,” you pressed your lips to his again.

“I think we should be able to make that happen,” he leaned in, brushing his nose against yours before pulling you in for another kiss. “Mmmm” you sighed, pulling away from his lips. “Never gets old.” You held his hand in yours, the two of you walking again down the beach.

“So I was thinking,” he began, “since you said you deleted all your photos, and I only have the one, maybe we could make some new photos… together,” the corner of his mouth turned up into a crooked smile. You grinned and nodded excitedly. “Please!”

Pulling out his phone, the two of you took several photos together. Some just smiling, some with Skipper, and your personal favorites, the ones with him kissing you. This will make for a perfect lockscreen, you imagined.

As you approached the edge of a rocky cliffside at the end of the beach, a sea lion barked in the distance. Skipper perked up, tilting his head and letting his ears twitch before returning a “boof.” The two of you laughed, ushering your dog away from making any wild ocean friends, and headed towards the boardwalk.

After grabbing an ice cream at a candy shop, you were so deep in conversation and laughter that you didn't notice the girl off to the side looking nervous. Slowly she walked over. Skipper put up his guard, but as she approached, she gave a kind wave. “Hi… I'm sorry to bother you. I'm a big fan of you both.”

“Us… both?!” You responded, surprised. Pedro shook his head with a laugh before thanking the fan.

“Of course! Your music is amazing! I listen to it on my way home from work everyday. I relate to so many of your songs.”

“Wow, thank you so much. I never expected to be recognized. You're so kind,” you replied honestly.

She asked for a photo with you both, and after obliging, she mentioned before leaving, “by the way, I was following all the news that went down. I just want to say I think it's cute how you guys got together and you make a really cute couple. Okay bye! Thank you again!!” And with that, she scurried away, leaving you to look at Pedro in surprise. “Wow” you replied with a laugh. “I can't believe I'm getting recognized,” you spoke quietly.

“How do you feel about it?” Pedro asked cautiously.

“I feel… okay, so far. This was a nice interaction, and even though people keep looking at us… being able to be out in public with you, to show my face, kiss you, hug you, hold your hand,” you gave his hand a squeeze, “it makes it all worth it.”

“I couldn't agree more,” he looked into your eyes, giving a soft smile. You matched his expression before his face slowly faded into concern. “Do you think work will go okay for you? Now that it's out there?”

You took a deep breath, walking a few more steps with him down the boardwalk before replying. “I don't know. I guess so. Or… I hope so at least. I've had a few of my friends and coworkers message me kind words of encouragement. So at least I'll have some people on my side, even if anyone else has something to say. But really, they shouldn't. They already know me. They knew I liked you,” you leaned into him. “So they should be happy for me if anything. And if not, then… well, they didn't deserve to be my friend anyway,” you shrugged. “But I think I might take some time off to figure out everything, career wise,” you added. Still leaning into his side, Pedro unlatched his fingers from yours, opting to reach his arm around you, giving your shoulder a squeeze and rubbing soft circles into your upper arm.

“Baby,” Pedro began, his voice vibrating through your body as he leaned his head on yours, “I’m so proud of you. Have I told you how strong I think you are?” Your cheeks warmed and you grinned. “Thank you Pedro,” you wrapped your arms around his waist to hug him. “But I don't think I'm that strong. I struggle to open pickle jars just like the rest of us,” you joked.

Pedro gave a quiet snort. “You know what I mean, honey,” he laughed. “I don't mean physical strength. Though I'm sure you could hold your own in an arm wrestle, I mean your ability to handle all of this thrown at you so quickly. Your ability to adapt and stay cheerful about everything. You just keep continuing to amaze me,” he pulled his head away from yours to meet your gaze. He smiled softly and you thanked him.

“I don't feel very strong,” you mumbled, breaking away from his stare. “You are, though. You're strong, smart, beautiful. Talented. Passionate,” he kissed your lips.

“Pedro, I love you, but you always seem to use all these words I don't feel. You see me as someone completely different than the way I've always seen myself. I want to believe you, but-” you sighed. “No one else has ever shown any indication that those are true,” you pouted, trying not to tear up.

“Hey, hey, whoa. Stop,” he halted your movements, pulling your chin up to his face. “Maybe they didn't see you, but I do. I feel all those things about you, and I'll spend every single day trying to prove it. I told myself I wouldn't get involved in romance a long time ago. But you changed all that.”

His chocolate brown eyes felt like they looked directly into your soul as he attempted to unravel your self-doubt. With a deep breath, you calmed enough to reply. “I love you, and I feel all those things for you as well. I'm glad you opened yourself up to love again.” You pressed a kiss to his lips. “I'm glad I met you” you sucked his lip. “I'm glad you're mine.” You kissed him again, deepening it, letting your tongue press gently to his and tangling together in passion before pulling away.

Skipper had completely rolled into his side in wait for you both, between the conversation and the kissing. When the two of you broke away with matching grins, you looked over to see the sun had sunk down to the border between sky and ocean. In its wake was a bright orange sky, with pink, purple, and yellow streaks mixed in, as if a painter had gotten a bit too carried away with the paints. It was blindingly beautiful.

Drawn to it like moths, the three of you walked towards the shoreline once again. You started to sit, but Pedro pulled you into his chest and fished for his phone.

You gave him a confused look before he kissed you deeply and held out his arm. Unlatching his lips from yours with a pop, he held up his phone to you with a smile. In front of the vibrant ocean sunset, the silhouette of a couple shared a loving kiss. For once, it was you in this couple photo. You and the man you love.

You walked a little farther down the sand before sitting down just above the line of wet sand to admire the sunset. Pedro sat behind you, his legs on either side of you while you lay back into his chest. As you leaned into him, he hugged around your body, molding himself to you and tracing light circles into the skin on your arms, making the hairs stand on end and a shiver to run down your spine.

Skipper flopped down nearby, clearly sleepy after a long walk and plenty of new smells. You ran a gentle hand down his back until you heard soft snores, then let him sleep, leaning your head on Pedro’s arm around your shoulder. “This sunset is beautiful,” you sighed, watching as the sun descended further below the ocean. It looked as if it was sinking deep below the surface, offering its light to the deep sea anglerfish miles below.

“It is amazing,” Pedro agreed, staring at you. “But my view is even better,” he added, and you could feel his eyes on the side of your face as he kissed your shoulder. You looked over at him, meeting his eyes, now sparkling with the orange of the sky. “Mine too,” you whispered, tilting your head to press another kiss to his lips.

When the sun went down completely, you headed to the car and Pedro drove back to your place so you could get ready for dinner.

Pedro sat on the couch patiently, stroking the fur on Skip’s back while he snoozed, his head in Pedro's lap. In your bedroom, you searched for the perfect outfit to wear, finally deciding on a nice dress and sweater.

Hopefully the restaurant isn't too cold, you thought.

Walking out of the bedroom, you joined your boys in the living room, only to be greeted by Pedro’s jaw hitting the floor. “Te ves tan hermosa mi amor,” he stuttered in Spanish, flipping languages so easily when he was overcome with emotion. (You look so gorgeous my love.)

He gently stood, sliding out from below your dog, before walking over to you. His eyes scanned your body from head to toe and back up again, making you feel nervous. “You… you look… wow.” He rubbed his hand over his chin, his thumb grazing his lip. His pupils grew, making his eyes ever-so-slightly darker. You shivered under his gaze.

At your shiver, his demeanor shifted. “Shit, are you cold? Baby, you look incredible, but if you're cold -”

“I'm not cold, Pedro,” you interrupted.

“Are you sure? I saw you shiver.” He stepped towards you, touching your arm. A buzz crept under your skin like a live wire. “It wasn't from the cold…” you replied.

“It wasn't from-?” He paused, the realization hitting him as he understood your shiver wasn't from cold but frankly.. the opposite. “Oh,” he hummed, settling his hand on your hip and stepping closer.

Another chill.

“Feeling excited for our date, huh?” His voice caressed into your ear as he kissed his way down your neck, pausing to take gentle nibbles on the skin of your collarbone, neck, and chin, before pulling you in by your waist to press a deep kiss to your mouth, his tongue finding yours.

This was starting to feel natural, kissing. And you two were getting good at it together. Knowing just the way his tongue moved, finding just the spot to make you whine. You even managed to find a spot of him that made a groan slip from his lips nearly every time. Kissing him was addicting, and you had no intention of kicking the habit.

He pulled away, pulling your lip with his teeth as you let out a slight hiss. “I'd love to do this all night, but I promised you dinner, my love,” he kissed your cheek, his beard scratching your face just right. You sighed, agreeing to dinner and taking a minute step back. It felt much warmer in the room than before, and you could tell he felt the same. As your eyes drifted across his body, he nervously rubbed the back of his neck, clearing his throat. Slowly sweeping his eyes down his body, it was evident you both wanted something beyond dinner.

But the gentleman he is, Pedro stepped forward again, taking your hand and leading you toward the door.

Pulling up to the curb, Pedro opened your door for you before handing his keys to the valet. Linking his arm with yours, the two of you walked into an elegant Italian restaurant. He gave the waitress his name, and she led you back to a secluded room where a single booth sat.

The room was dimly lit, illuminated by candles and twinkling fairy lights. They lined the ceiling, mimicking the starry sky, were it not for the smog of the city. You two walked toward the only booth, settled against the nook of a window, draped with a soft, thin white curtain covering the view from outside. Only the reflection of street lights peered through the thin drapery.

Sliding into the booth, Pedro sat next to you, close enough to touch, yet due to the curve of the corner booth, you were able to converse without craning your neck awkwardly. At the center of the table was a single red rose in a vase, sat next to the glow of a candle. The table itself was rounded and draped with an elegant dark red tablecloth.

Grabbing the triangular folded napkin off your plate, you folded it across your lap, Pedro doing the same. He reached over to you, taking your hand in his. He rolled his hand over the top of yours, linking his fingers between your own and giving a gentle squeeze while offering a soft smile.

You looked into his eyes, searching for the words he might be thinking. In his eyes you only found love and appreciation, pure happiness oozing from his features. When the waitress came back, she set a basket of bread with butter on the table and took your orders.

The night went smoothly, chatter filling the empty spaces while you enjoyed your meals. “Pedro, I know this is technically our first date, but I gotta say, I think I consider our video chat for my album as the first date. It was the first time I felt like I might actually have a shot with you. You put so much effort into that night and it was the nicest thing anyone had ever done for me. I didn't know I could fall for you any harder than I was, but you proved me wrong. And even though we didn't say it was a date, and I didn't have much experience before you, it felt more like a date than anything I had ever felt before. You're a real romantic, P.”

He smiled and pressed a gentle kiss to your lips. “That felt like the first date to me too. I knew for sure that I loved you that night.” Your cheeks heated, and you leaned your head on his shoulder.

It was only when the bill arrived that you broke apart. Though you offered to pay, at least for your meal, Pedro wouldn't stand for that. After all, he told you, this date was his idea. So instead, you thanked him and left the restaurant the same way you entered, arms linked.

As Pedro pulled up outside of your home, you let out a sigh. It was already after 9 PM. You had spent nearly eight hours together and yet you dreaded the moment you'd be saying goodbye. It was almost that time already, yet it felt like only five minutes had passed.

Though the walk from Pedro’s car to your front door was rather short, you both managed to prolong it, walking as slow as possible. Clearly he wasn't ready for it to end either. Two love sick fools, just wanting to spend every moment together.

Teetering on the edge of goodbyes, you awkwardly stood by your door. There were no nerves at a first kiss, fortunately. There had been plenty of kisses shared today, and yesterday, and the day prior. In fact, if it weren't for breathing, eating, and other bodily functions, you'd be fine having your lips glued to his indefinitely.

So with that in mind, and the burning desire to spend more time together, as he said goodbye, placing a kiss to your lips and beginning to walk away, you grabbed his arm. “Wait,” you plead.

Pedro turned, looking at you as if you had something to say, or you had forgotten a sweater in the car. But instead, with your heart pounding in your ears, you quietly asked, “would you like to come in? I’m not quite ready to say goodbye.”

The question could be taken with so many potential implications, or none at all. All you knew for sure was that you wanted to spend more time with him. What happened next could be decided in the moment.

His eyes flashed surprise for a moment. He looked at you, trying to read your face for any details in your question, then stared at your front door before turning back to you and finally answering.

“I would love to,” he smiled.

And so the two of you walked through the threshold of your front door, buzzing with new possibilities just inside. But no matter how the rest of the evening takes place, you were in love, and for once, you were loved back.

The end! Thank you for reading! Stay tuned for the bonus tracks, and once again I'd love to hear what you think! Reblogs are appreciated as well :)

Taglist: (Want in? Let me know!)

@pedrotonin @starcrossed02 @lightupsketchersperson @cartoon-garbage04 @tyferbebe @maryfanson @gwendibleywrites @faithfullyyours2000 @hc-geralt-23 @jenniferpendragon @winchestergypsy90 @red-red-rogue @theendwhereibegin @lottieellz101 @oliversaurus @kyga01 @milly-louise @titabel @taz-97 @stefanibear003 @marantha @fandomoniumflurry @ilovemybrown-eyedbabygirl @leiadjarin @hmneighbors @emmalostinwonderland

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal fanfiction #a! wrote a fic #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal x you #pedro pascal x afab!reader #pedro pascal x reader #pedro pascal fluff #pedro pascal x musician!reader #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x plus sized! reader #pedro pascal rpf #rpf #key to your heart #pedro pascal smut

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bloopitynoot · 8 months ago

Text

Reading SVSSS: Bonus- Chapter 32

For those who don't know, I am reading SVSSS for the first time and sharing my thoughts!

If you have not read it, there will be spoilers! Consider this a warning.

Also- if you want to follow along, I am aiming to post updates daily. You can find all the posts in the tag bloopitynoot reads SVSSS. You can also check out the intro post for context on my read.

Yes it is 8 am and yes I am eating chicken gnocchi soup for breakfast. I stand that soup is and always will be a breakfast food.

No hot drinks today! This wedding required a feast :'3

I can't believe this is it! The series finale if you will.

I have been waiting 32 chapters for this moment. at last!!!

This man (SQQ) has been sleeping with this other man for what- months(?) years(?) at this point and he is STILL over here totally bewildered at the fact that LBH does not want to marry a woman. p355

This is kind of sweet though. I'm so glad Cang Qiong Mountain sect has embraced these two absolute weirdos. I love that they can visit now! It warms my romantic heart that they can travel for a while and then come "home" for a time. p355

omg these two are so embarrassing. The way in which LBH is asking him to marry him is so awkward. p359

oh no, now I feel like an asshole because LBH was SO NERVOUS the days leading up to him asking. (granted totally fair with how SQQ acts towards him/about their relationship- I too would not know if he wanted to actually marry me or not in this situation). I just want to pinch LBH's cheeks though, why is he so cute. p360

aaaaaah- this is so cute. SQQ being actually happy about him asking instead of trying to gaslight himself and side step his feelings or "reluctantly" agreeing to marry LBH pp360-361

my heaaaaaaaart LBH's confession pp362-363

The fact that LBH had wedding outfits ready. I need to know two things; 1. where/how did he get them and 2. how long has he had them and had this planned. p363

I truly don't know if MXTX has written a tender sex scene. Why does it always have to be a little traumatic? Granted I have only read SVSSS and MDZS BUT both of these series have either uncomfortable (SVSSS) or just have freak4freak energy (MDZS-but I will take this over crying and bleeding) there's never something soft and lubed. I hope that TGCH has something (no spoilers pls) but my bar is so low. (okay but wangxian was fine for the most part- they just were also dry and mutually unhinged). pp366-367

NO LOL the wife-ing of SQQ. p370

Okay okay- the ending was so sweet. The little shy embarrassed SQQ calling Binghe husband and him pretending not to hear. My headcanon is that eventually over time SQQ feels less and less embarrassed, works through his internalized homophobia, and learns to say what he actually feels more often. Even without my hopes and dreams, I still think this ending was such good character growth for SQQ.

Holy shit we did it!

Thank you to everyone who joined me on this reading journey. It has been so fun getting to read the books along with you and talk about the experience.

I am a little bit sad that it is over :'3

I do however, now have a pile of fanfic to start working through and am so stoked to continue this journey via fan works. Thank you, thank you to everyone who sent me fics to read!!

In terms of what is next- I will likely spend some time reading SVSSS fanfic- if I get to a point where like Wangxian, I have hundreds of fics in my collection, I may start recing Bingqiu!

BUT in terms of danmei, I am hoping to read TGCF next and round out my MXTX collection (likely end of December start)!

This has been such an amazing experience that I will continue to live blog future danmei series :)

Thank you thank you again!

#bloopitynoot reads svsss #svsss spoilers #mxtx svsss #svsss #scum villans self saving system #scum villain #mxtx #I cant believe it's over!#this has been so fun #tgcf next #I will be live blogging again

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sandu7174 · 20 days ago

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Thoughts on homerned 👁️👁️ (been thinking lately of this ship and very sad that I find barley any talks about it)

hi! thank you for the first ever ask of this blog! lol (LONG POST)

uhm so. do i wanna ramble for an eternity? maybe. so to lay some groundwork i have been utterly fascinated by a specific type of gay relationship dynamic since i was like 13 years old. there needs to be some sort of social pressure to be heterosexual and something unpredictable/unexpected to happen. I DUNNO i'm bad at explaining it. it's not just enough for me two ship two same-gender characters who are already gay, they have to "be" straight and THEN they "become" gay, or at least one of them has to. i feel like a lot of tumblr and fandom people can relate to this.

i had a similar phase in 2016 when the "we are number one" -meme was really popular. i started reading some lazytown fanfics on deviantart and became fascinated by the sportarobbie ship (the unexpected part of this is the villain x hero dynamic). i drew some fanart for it but i never uploaded it because back then when i was 13 i was SUUUUPER insecure of myself and my art, i was embarrassed to post anything lazytown related cus i was afraid that people would think i was cringe (and look at me now, making trump x elon yaoi. i truly do not give a shit anymore lol). (side note, during that time i wrote a terrible lazytown creepypasta that was basically a complete ripoff of mlp cupcakes where robbie kidnaps sportacus and tortures him to death lol)

ANYWAY ABOUT THAT FLIMPSON THING. i always liked ned flanders, even before i started making simpsons fanart at the beginning of this year. i'm always really into characters who have a heavily consistent personality trait of some kind, and then SOMETIMES they completely break that trend by doing the exact opposite. i like fluttershy for the same reason, she's usually really shy and submissive, but when she gets really angry? GOOSEBUMPS. i am obsessed.

ned is established as this good christian pure saint who never swears or expresses discontent and he is also 100% heterosexual because being gay is a sin he could never do that. so obviously as a tumblr user i make him do exactly that. and ship him with none other than his ARCHNEMESIS! could you imagine?

as far as i know there have been no gay jokes with ned in the series (which is disappointing, but there could be some since i'm a really casual simpsons fan and definitely haven't watched all of the episodes and i don't really do any research at all. i mean i guess there was that recent episode with him and fat tony? i dunno if that counts since i haven't seen the full episode). there have been some gay jokes with homer: when homer's roommate kissed him and later on in the same episode he was kissed by marge and then said "that was the best kiss i've had today" and then thought "or was it?" or that time when moe explained how to combine the dna of two different strains of bees and homer asked "you and me?" and moe said "no, the bees" and embarrassed homer said "i have no inclinations..." REMEMBER THAT??? i do. on another side note i find it incredibly hilarious that homer and moe's shipname is homoe. like holy fucking shit lmao.

anyway, homer is obsessed with ned flanders because ned's mere existence makes him feel inferior and so his insecurity of his own shortcomings drives him to bully ned. so i guess it's kind of my headcanon/fanfiction that homer is also obsessed with ned in a gay way as well. remember what he said about ned when he was filming him for his dating tape? "oh, you tease, you?" ???????? and how in that same episode he was fully comfortable with, if not a bit enthusiastic about filming ned and his canonically huge fucking schlong naked in the shower??? by god this man is not heterosexual. (just ignore the fact that that's technically sexual harassment lol)

AND THERE'S ANOTHER ONE HOLY SHIT I JUST LOOKED UP "homer films ned" ON YOUTUBE AND THERE WAS A VIDEO TITLED "Ned Flanders GAY" and i was like. go on. so i watched it and it was a scene from the movie where ned was about to confess something in the church and homer was desperately hoping he would come out as gay JESUS CHRIST I COMPLETELY FUCKING FORGOT ABOUT THAT SCENE. i really need to rewatch the movie sometime.

in the show ned is typically attracted to conventionally attractive women, so for him to be into a fat guy instead is the unexpected part. there's also lots of inner struggles because of the internalised homophobia. and stuff happens maybe and yea (are you vibing with this completely useless sentence?). i do also like other simpsons ships like flanjoy, burnsmithers and chalmskinn, but there's something about flimpson that just... it iches my brain in a way that the others don't. chalmskinn comes quite close, though...

in my art you might see that i like to play around with who is more dominant and who is more submissive in the relationship. sometimes homer will annoy ned and push his buttons, which ned is obviously annoyed by but on some deeper level he really likes to be pursued by homer. other times when homer annoys ned too much, ned gets pissed off and gives homer a hard time, which homer greatly enjoys. (i might also headcanon homer as a masochist of sorts) homer really loves to provoke flanders, he often doesn't stop when he should. there's also this artwork and i'm not really sure what's going on there. it looks like in this case ned is the one annoying homer, which obviously also happens in the show but ned always does it unintentionally, in this drawing he seems to be doing it deliberately... but despite all the wrestling, sometimes they do make a pretty good team when they work together and sometimes they're just straight chilling. and sometimes they make out. i hope. i still haven't drawn them actually kissing BECAUSE IT'S SO HARD IT'S LITERALLY THE BANE OF MY ARTISTIC EXISTENCE. i can barely even draw humans kissing in a realistic style, how the fuck am i gonna do it in the simpsons art style.

it's unfortunate that flimpson isn't as popular as the other simpsons ships, but you can't always win. i still like drawing them from time to time, and i'm gonna release an animation meme with them sometime in the near future. so i guess subscribe to my youtube channel if you don't wanna miss that lol (i will notify about it here on tumblr too dw)

#ask #not art #the simpsons #ned flanders #homer simpson #flimpson #homer x ned #asks #simpsons #the simpsons fandom #simpsons fandom #lazytown #sportarobbie #we are number one #ramble #rambles #ramblings #shipping #fandom

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chillyangel · 2 months ago

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So I figured I would finally start using this blog for its actual purpose: art and talking about things that interest me! ✨

I’ve been pretty sick lately, so I’ve got some time! Behold, my thoughts on Frieren:

I saw it show up on Netflix when it first came out, but silly me (who had not watched anime in years) wanted to see the show in English. ALSO silly me had no idea that she could switch to the dub, so this ridiculous girl just didn’t watch it forever and ever. 😭 BUT here I am ✨ shivering in my heated blanket as I type to you. I know, I’m a dismal sight… but you know who’s NOT a dismal sight?

Him 😩

So anyway, I started watching Frieren, and I am just so impressed by its incredible uniqueness! It’s everything I have ever been looking for in an anime! Each time I watch animated shows, I find myself looking for this kind of Midieval magic aesthetic that tickles my INFP brain! As a gamer girl, and a fan of fire emblem, I’m also incredibly pleased to see certain things that are extremely reminiscent to JRPG! I’m super out of the loop on anime, like, I really don’t watch much, but I do game a lot. So when I saw Frieren and Fern with mage staffs, Stark with his axe, and Sein pulling out his battle magic, I was like: “Excuse me?! Where is my controller?”

Not to mention, this show’s music is phenomenal and it simply oozes middle earth energy. I can’t get enough of it!!! 😩 My dad actually started watching a bit with me because he heard the music from across the house and just fell in love with it! (He’s a LoTR fan!)

The characters are so memorable, and fun to watch. They somehow got me deeply attached to Himmel upon the first SIGHTING of him! And Sein was there for like, 4 episodes? 3? Idk, and I was actually sad when he left— which I was honestly not expecting. Stark, Frieren, and Fern interact exactly how I thought they would! 🤣 The writing is SO good! And Stark is a absolutely hilarious. His facial expressions are priceless, and the story telling, especially when it comes to him, is so entertaining.

ALSO, can I talk about romance for a minute? 👀 I absolutely adore the way that romance is portrayed in this series! Frieren and Himmel?! Save me! They somehow got me crying over this man and his love for some elf lady within like, less than 30 minutes after introducing him??? How? And the way that we keep seeing him over and over again in flashbacks that NEVER get annoying (at least to me) because gosh, Himmel is so comforting. The fact that he’s comforting to the viewer masterfully conveys just how comforting he is to Frieren n herself! Getting the audience to fall in love with two characters that are in love with each other? Perfection 😩

Now, I’m eating chicken noodle soup, and I feel like this is as fitting a time as ever to write about the other romance, the one between Stark and Fern (I think). I mean, it IS a romance, right? But it’s all backwards. We have a male protagonist and female protagonist in the same group with a sort of wise/sort of old definitely not responsible… guidance figure? That last part is a bit of a stretch. But anyway, it’s SET UP for one of those classic: “You’re cute, I’m cute, let’s date while wise lady here gives us advice” situations that tend to happen in fiction. Which I mean, sort of “happens” in the WEIRDEST way possible. Because Fern hates Stark’s guts for the first many episodes— ignoring the fact that he is an extremely wholesome hottie who just wants her approval— like goodness gracious, woman! 😭 Calm DOWN, this man just slayed a dragon single handedly on accident, you don’t know him very well so I think you should be careful!!!!

But alas, she is not careful, and although I was kinda hoping Stark would brandish his axe and yell at her— this poor guy exceeds all of my expectations and just cries. I feel like Fern should’ve realized super early on that it’s not okay to repeatedly make a cute boy cry, but unfortunately this story is just a little too realistic sometimes. 😭 Fern is just bossing this poor man, yelling at him, and calling him a perv… even though she’s done WAY more questionable things than Stark could ever dream of.

But what makes this “romance”(?) so hilariously compelling to me is the fact that as the series continues on, Fern naturally becomes Stark’s wife. He lands himself in the doghouse, buying her gifts, reasoning with her, and learning what makes her happy. It happens so quickly? Gradually? Idk, that I didn’t even notice this until suddenly I was like: “holy moly, what is happening here?”

I’ve never seen anything like this in all of fiction and it makes me die laughing! 🤣

Sorry, this totally became a rant about how fun Stark and Fern are, but you get the point! There’s some of my thoughts on Frieren!

#rambling #Frieren #sousou no frieren #stark #Himmel #fern #frieren: beyond journey's end #Sein #text post #essay

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abby118 · 11 months ago

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It makes me so happy to see I’m not alone here. Honestly the Loki fandom is so fucking isolating, and I feel like if you say you prefer Pre-series Loki/Loki Prime whatever….you get shit flung at you. This fandom has done a really good job at making me scared to share my opinions. (Hell, I can’t even criticize the TVA without “UWU THE TVA ARE SMOL ANGST BLORBOS WITH TRAUMA! THEY’RE LOKI’s WHOLESOME FOUND FAMILY WHO HELPED HIM!!!”) It’s helped me a little bit to remember Loki in the series is a variant of our boy, because like…he’s literally nothing like Loki in the slightest and no offense to the fans, but it feels like a majority of them haven’t even TOUCHED the previous films. (Literally saw a post calling them old and outdated.)

Thank you for this blog. 🥺

Ooh yes, mhm. It can be isolating, for sure, but I also think we're fortunate that it did split into pre and post ragnarok eras of the fandom because some fandoms die when its source material gets retconned. I definitely relate to the opinion aimed towards the new "fans"; they're one of the most disrespectful and meanest people I have had the displeasure of interacting with in fandom spaces and I've been on this site for a while now.

And no, the character in the series is not a variant of Loki. The *only thing they share is a name, which has been stolen from the original character it rightfully belongs to, with the intent of cashing in on the fans. I refuse to refer to him as the same character. *They do share the same actor too, and as much as it hurts to say it, because Tom Hiddleston has been my favourite actor since I can remember - I was literally 9 when I joined the fandom when T1 came out..(for context, I'll be turning 22 this year), I no longer relate to how he views, or seems to view, Loki. And don't get me wrong, he will always be the person who played my favourite character, that will not change, but I do not see his interpretation of Loki as my own anymore. It doesn't even match his old one. And I know I'm not alone in feeling like this.

The TVA is a topic I don't have the energy to get into but it is beyond problematic. I'll just say that, I'm sure we all know what I'm getting at there. And I wouldn't even say it "feels" like the newer people haven't touched the movies. I have spoken to a few of them and it is an actual thing, apparently. Some of them started with ragnarok...which does explain a lot...and never bothered to check the original ones. And then they complain about feeling unwelcome among the fanbase, I wonder why that is, huh? - "I feel like if you say you prefer Pre-series Loki/Loki Prime whatever….you get shit flung at you. This fandom has done a really good job at making me scared to share my opinions."

Don't listen to them. Block them. They are not interactions that would bring you enjoyment or any sort of positive feeling and that's not what fandoms are supposed to be like, trust me. If you genuinelly feel upset about people's takes and opinion aimed towards you, you have every right to avoid them. Tumblr has no algorithm and blocking is nothing but curating your experience, you don't owe anything to these people. I, myself, have done this, including filtering tags, and it is so much more peaceful than when I rejoined (beacuse I changed blogs). Still, no longer being able to go to the main tag is incredibly sad.

Find a group of people you can interact with, follow the tags that are more specific and avoid what doesn't benefit your fun here. And thank you for being here, really. Especially for reaching out 💚🖤 I'm very glad you like my blog. I'm just doing my own thing, which in my case, means trying to stay true to the fandom I loved and enjoyed (and still do) from years ago, regardless of the notes or what people say. Because, at the end of the day, all that matters is your own enjoyment. I'm trying not to post too much negativity towards post2013 despite having a lot to say because there are blogs who do that, and do so well (thank you guys), and we need one that's focused on the good things too, but sometimes it really is needed. So thank you for the opportunity.

#anti loki series #anti loki show #anti ragnarok #2011-2013 Loki supremacy #abby talks

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threecheersforinking · 1 year ago

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Review: Boys Over Flowers

*this review will contain spoilers!*

Hi everyone! This is going to be an extremely long, unsolicited recap of all my thoughts about Boys Over Flowers. I don't know a single person in my real life who has watched this, so I'm using this blog as my space to infodump because this show has become my new hyperfixation. If anyone at all ends up reading this, I really appreciate it! But this is mostly entirely for myself lol.

As someone who is pretty deep into the shoujo anime world and just recently getting into kdramas, I have heard of this show in passing many times. Kkotboda Namja is referenced in Korean media a lot and Hana Yori Dango is lauded as a classic shoujo in the manga sphere, so I figured it might be good to watch the show just to be able to get all the references and consume a piece of shoujo history. Originally, I thought it would be a mindless watch that I might have to force myself to finish; I started off concerned about getting through 25 episodes, but in the end, I ended up wishing there were more lol.

I'm gonna be honest, when I first started watching it, I was like uhhh this is... kinda bad. especially in the beginning. But I became endeared to the quirks I originally criticized. The slow motion dramatic replay shots, the shaky camera, the questionable acting skills all are an essential part of the show itself.

In general, the story was more compelling than I was expecting. But the characters were undoubtedly the best part of the show for me. I always find myself getting attached to media where characters are the focus, and I believe that's why I enjoyed this so much. So I am going to go into each character a bit more in depth.

Thoughts on Jandi

As far as shoujo protagonists go, Jandi is pretty quintessential and standard. She is poor, she is hardworking, she is kind. We've all seen this before. But I always liked her, and she grew on me even more as the series went on. She has the ever-present shoujo 'hard working poor girl' trait, but the show took that to a more serious level than I was expecting. The arc where she had to essentially raise her little bother by herself forced her to mature so quickly, which felt very realistic to me.

I also really loved how much of a 'girl's girl' she was; as far as earlier episodes go, the episode that focused on Minji was one of my favorites. I loved how she called out those popular girls on their hypocrisy for criticizing Minji's plastic surgery when they've all had surgery themselves. She also was such a good friend to both Minji and Gaeul and a very strong, assertive person.

As far as her indecisiveness goes, that is kind of a requirement for being a shoujo protagonist in a love triangle, but it did still get on my nerves even though I was fully anticipating it.

Thoughts on F4 (ranked in order of how much I liked them)

Yijung

Yijung was my favorite F4 boy by far. I just thought he had the most interesting and complex backstory. His struggle with his parents was very humanizing and the way he handled it so poorly felt like a realistic response to that kind of trauma. Ultimately, he made bad choices, but in an understanding and forgivable way that made him complex, not unlikeable (unlike someone else... but more on that later).

Jihoo

Jihoo was another character I grew to be very fond of. I was interested in his backstory a lot too, and although we knew from the beginning that he experienced a tragic loss as a child, learning that he carried the guilt of thinking he killed his family for 15 years really gave extra context to his stoicness and sadness. His reunion arc with his grandfather brought me to tears several times, and it really gave his character a lot more depth. My biggest issue with Jihoo is that I felt like he was almost too perfect sometimes; it's why I liked the grandfather reunion arc so much, I thought it gave him some much needed flaws.

Junpyo

Speaking of flaws, look who it is! Obviously, I have a lot of conflicted feelings on Junpyo. As someone who is actually very open minded about redemption arcs, I didn't have too much of an issue with him being a bully at the beginning, but his, truthfully, abusive tendencies were such a turn off and felt completely unnecessary. Unlike Yijung, Junpyo's trauma/bad choices made him extremely unlikable and nearly unforgivable. The constant physical violence against completely innocent people and his unwillingness to listen to Jandi explain herself were hard to watch, knowing that he's one of the romantic leads that we're supposed to be rooting for. I also felt like until the final arc, any character development he had gotten just kept undoing itself every time he found a new thing to get angry about. Despite all this, I enjoyed what his character became towards the end of the story. I just wish it wasn't such a painful and unnecessary journey for him to finally become that way.

Woobin

Woobin was kind of a disappointing character in general; I can only assume that he was a bigger character in the manga and they just didn't have time to really develop him in the show, because that's pretty much the only valid explanation for his lack of substance. At the beginning of the show, Yijung and Woobin got less screentime than Junpyo/Jihoo did, but as Yijung started to get more development, Woobin became even more noticeably lacking. They threw in that one scene where he was stressing over being the son of a mafia boss or something (which felt completely out of left field by the way) but because it was the only scene where he was given any backstory it might as well not have existed at all. Overall, he was nice to Jandi and a good friend and I enjoyed him in all the F4 group scenes, I just wish he was a bit more of a fully developed character.

Other Characters

Before I get into the friend characters, I wanted to say that something I really loved about this show was how genuinely kind all the older female characters were to Jandi. For some reason I was expecting most of them to secretly be evil or mean but they were all extremely kindhearted and helpful people, which just made the viewing experience better. Even Minji, who was literally the only one who actually did turn out mean, was able to reconcile with Jandi and end their friendship on a neutral/positive note.

Gaeul

I loved Gaeul from the start, I thought she was so adorable and the perfect best friend character for a shoujo. I honestly wasn't even expecting her to be a fully fleshed-out secondary character in the show, I thought she would just be Jandi's coworker who she gossiped with on occasion. But the fact that she became such a major player in the story made me very happy. I also really loved her with Yijung and was practically screaming at the screen for them to get together, but more on that later.

Jaekyung

Jaekyung was interesting. She was a little ditzy and out of touch, but extremely kindhearted despite her wealthy background. I think her introduction into the show, which subsequently threw a curveball into the relationship of Jandi x Junpyo, came at a good time. I found it refreshing that she was always nice and friendly to Jandi, but also didn't want to give up on Junpyo just because Jandi liked him. My biggest issue with Jaekyung was that her concession at the end of the wedding felt a little out of left field, considering how adamant she had been previously about her pursuit of Junpyo. But based on the nature of her personality, I can see that being believable. I also wish she made another appearance after the wedding arc was over, but we didn't see her again after that :(

Junhee

Junhee was yet another character that I expected to be kind of bitchy/mean but who turned out to be extremely cool and nice. The literal only thing that bothered me about her was that I couldn't fathom how she and Junpyo were supposedly raised in the same home but turned out so different, lol. I guess it's a testament to how girls vs. boys were treated in their patriarchal household, but still jarring.

The Romance

I want to start off by saying that I'm someone who is ok with love triangles. I think there's a lot of people who are tired of them and don't like them, but I am okay with it so long as it's interesting.

That being said, when it comes to love triangles I think a lot of people conflate the character they like better with the character the protagonist very clearly wants more. To me (and to most people I'd assume) Jihoo was just overwhelmingly the better choice. I'd go as far as to say he's the objectively better choice. He was always a million times more kind and thoughtful than Junpyo and truly loved Jandi for almost the entire show. However, I could never fully see him being endgame because Jandi was simply more focused on Junpyo and had more history with him.

I know this is a hot take, but I actually really enjoy the 'bickering couple' trope. I think a little back and forth roasting of each other is fun and entertaining! But bickering is not the same thing as genuine cruelty and one sided bullying. Which is pretty much what was happening at the beginning of the story. However, by the time Junpyo finally mellowed out, I really grew to love his dynamic with Jandi. The teasing was just that; teasing, and not bullying anymore. I just wish there was about 200% more of that dynamic and 100% less of whatever the hell they were doing in the first 2/3rds of the show.

As for couples outside of the main trio, I was the BIGGEST Gaeul/Yijung shipper from the minute they first interacted. I cared way more about them than the main love triangle and was on the edge of my seat whenever they showed up. My biggest criticism of them though is that it took WAY too long. And believe me, I can handle a slow burn, but at a certain point it felt so dragged out that I almost stopped caring (it wasn't confirmed canon until the literal last 10 minutes of the whole show lol). Of course, I was still pleased, but man! Give me a break.

The Show In General

I think it became obvious to me early on that this is like, the mother of all shoujos. Most of the common shoujo tropes I mentioned in this review probably either originated or were popularized by both this show and the original manga. It really set a standard and became iconic, despite its many flaws.

(Side note, I hope I'm not in the wrong for still calling this kdrama a shoujo, I think it being based on a shoujo manga makes it a fair enough label but correct me if I'm wrong)

I also just started reading the manga and wow, they uh... toned some stuff down for the show didn't they? I do like it though, it's different. But I can definitely see why some changes were made from the manga to the show. So far out of all the characters, Jihoo and Junpyo's manga versions feel the most different from their kdrama equivalents, which is a bit surprising as they are the main characters. But we'll have to see if that changes as I get further in.

I also am aware of the several other adaptations of Hana Yori Dango such as the Japanese drama and Meteor Garden (although I am put off by the fact that it's 50+ episodes?? are they an hour long too? if so... I'm not sure about that one) but I knew Boys Over Flowers/Kkotboda Namja was the one I wanted to start with due to its popularity, and I think that was a good choice.

This is a 15 year old show but I know there is still somewhat of an active fanbase for it on here so if you're a hardcore Hana Yori Dango stan please go easy on me! These are just my opinions so take them with a grain of salt.

Anyway, if anyone ended up reading this to the end thank you for reading. I'm going to be posting more kdrama reviews on this blog that I promise will be way shorter. Bye!

-threecheersforinking

#boys over flowers #kkotboda namja #hana yori dango #gu jun pyo #geum jan di #yoon ji hoo #anime review blog #kdrama #korean drama #netflix #review blog #shoujo

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wanderingmind867 · 3 months ago

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Hiii it's ask wave time~ who are ten of your favorite characters? Don't worry it doesn't have to be ranked in order, and it doesn't even have to be ten if you don't want! Just who stands out to you? If I’ve sent this already, my bad 😭

You may have sent it before, but my memory is not great (when you have 17,000+ posts, it becomes incredibly hard to find old ones). Anyways, ten of my favourite characters? Glad you didn't say top ten. I could never do top ten. But I can try to pick out ten random ones. I might end up going overboard and doing 10-15, though. I may also end up mostly pulling from Comic Book media and Rick Riordan books for now, but I know your blog is mostly about Bob's Burgers, so I'm gonna throw in two of those characters too. I like Bob's Burgers myself too, but I just haven't watched it as much lately (and haven't posted about it due to other hyperfixations, anyways).

Martian Manhunter: He's just always appealed to me, ever since I was a little kid. Something about this incredibly lonely superhero, the last of his kind...it really hits me in the heart. I relate to it.

Two-Face: Two-Face was the first supervillian i loved. I think my parents used to tell me I raced about him as a kid after seeing a rerun of his 90s TV Show episode. I don't think I could say his name right, though. This story can't be fact-checked, because my dad currently isn't at home (and I don't know how I talked way back when i was 4-5).

Mister Freeze: I've always liked Mister Freeze, but I like him even more than usual now. His grief over losing his wife, and his obsession with curing her...god, that's relatable. I lost my mom in 2022, and it still affects me. Not always in ways you'd expect, but it definitely still affects me. So I understand Freeze's pain and heartache. I really feel for him.

Cyclops: Cyclops wasn't my favourite X-Man as a kid, but he's definitely my favourite now. I see so much of myself in him. He's intensely relatable. Lonely, awkward socially, obsession with routine and with order, Cyclops is like the most relatable character you could give me. I love him.

Doctor Octopus: Doctor Octopus was my favourite Spiderman villian as a kid. I always read into him as being very relatable. This timid scientist who just goes along with whatever his boss tells him to do (largely because he's too scared to be assertive and take charge of operations), he eventually snaps and becomes a genius supervillian. I feel like that can be said to reflect my anger issues (which I hide whenever i'm in public, too). So he was really relatable.

The Hulk/Bruce Banner: Similar to the Doctor Octopus explanation above, The Hulk appeals to my sense of dual natures. My anger issues, depressive episodes, my negative emotions generally all end up repressed unless i'm alone or around my dad. So a character who pretty much has two split personalities (both of which embody my public vs my private persona), it almost feels like it's designed to be relatable.

Electro: i almost chose Mysterio (since I love his theatricality and sense of style with his crimes), but I feel like Electro popped into my head slightly easier. I still vividly remember the Electro episode of The Spectacular Spider-Man, despite not seeing it in years. A man who's now trapped in a body made of pure electricity, electro can't touch people, eat or drink things, he can't do anything a normal human being would do. And so he snaps, broken by his transformation. That type of story is so sad that I still remember it. I love Electro. His old comics aren't as good as that episode of the TV show, but I still love him.

Nico di Angelo: Nico di Angelo is a character I've loved since I first read the Percy Jackson series (whenever that actually first was). A lonely outcast, never accepted by anyone else, who closes himself off from the world after losing family and beginning to feel unaccepted. He really, really speaks to my soul.

Frank Zhang: Besides just being from Canada (like I am) and having self-confidence issues (also like me), he really is just a character I find fun and relatable. Not too much else I can say here, but I do relate to him.

Jason Grace: Jason Grace is a character who I love so much. He's a genuinely good and selfless person, a really great guy. His rigid sense of order (due to growing up at the roman camp) really appeals to me, too. I like order and some sense of rules. I go to bed at around the same time every night, I eat at similar times every day, I just like order. Chaos is stressful. We're getting off topic, but yeah. I love Jason Grace, and his death really got to me. I couldn't read the riordan books after that, because i missed him too much.

Teddy (Bob's Burgers): Probably the most relatable major character on Bob's Burgers, this man plagued by neuroses and issues really reminds me of myself. I'm only 20 (and he's like 50 or something), but I still really feel like I'll end up like him one day. Few friends, a therapist, awkward and lonely, etc. The only major difference between us is that I hate hands on work (like the stuff he does as a handyman).

Aunt Gayle (Bob's Burgers): The other big-ish character on Bob's Burgers who I relate to. Really, that show knows how to make me like and relate to characters. Just give them an infinite number of neuroses and mental issues, and you're gonna end up with a character who I feel speaks to my soul. A lonely woman who's got no friends besides her extended family, a lady who lives alone (besides her many cats) and who's incredibly sensitive to criticism... she's very, very similar to me. Very similar. Well, except for my strong allergies to cats.

Thank you for the ask, by the way. I now realize I could probably make an infinite number of lists like these, if given time. It'd become exhausting to do all the time, but I do like so many characters. I've dabbled in so many fandoms over 20 years, I could make a list at least 50 characters wide, if i had to. I just think i'd slowly begin to feel tired and agitated as I wrote it. But still, you give me this prompt again one day, tell me to try and pick new people, and we'd probably be able to get something out of it. Idk, that's just a random thought i've had.

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nikethestatue · 7 months ago

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Hello! I just found your blog today and really enjoy it! I'm new to Sarah j maas. I just finished Cc after reading acotar this summer. Then I came online to the fandom this month and I've been very confused. I see all this claims that az will be with bryce or that az and gwyn are mates. Completely ignoring elain like she doesn't exist and ignoring what az wants which is what sarah wrote. I thought gwyn was nice, But gwyn is a very new character right? And I remember az maybe talking to her in the training group a few times and he was often grumpy and quiet and sometimes quite happy with their improvement, and a little calm and friendly. Just normal and professional like a teacher. Didnt think much about it. I never thought about az and gwyn in the same thought. It makes no sense to be mates from that. Very strange. I thought it is a fandom ship, like dramionie, but it was serious.

Did i miss somethint?. I don't understand where it comes from but i dont want to be mean. I found azriels bonus chapter last week because a gwynriel person told me about it. I was even more shocked they think azriel and gwyn are mates when I read it. I knew azriel and elain would be a couple but I actually didn't know azriel was already that obsessed. I really liked it for elain. After what men did to her I want that kind of love for elain. Someone who really really wants her. Azriel has always been kind and good to elain and I'm very happy about elain and azriel even more now. He and nesta are the only ones that defended elain out loud by saying that elain doesnt want lucien, which is true. The necklace is mysterious and made me sad that rhys interrupted but it makes sense. It is like Nesta kicked cassian in their chapter when they almost kissed. Some interruption and obstacle. Did I misunderstand the books? I hope not because I loved elain and azriel in the books. They slowly became my favorite. I became sad after coming into the fandom and hearing many cruel things about elain.

I read acotar slowly and in peace on my own and i slowly and steady became sure elain and azriel would be next book. It was how Sarah wrote. did I misunderstand everything? Sorry, maybe all this fandom claims that hit me this month has made me too confused since i just read all the books recently. I read all books in English but it isn't my language so maybe I missed important things. I understad english very well but dont express myself well. I think i became a little sad when I came into the fandom. I dont enjoy this fandom. It is very aggressive but I want to talk peacefully and just enjoy the books. Sorry for writing so long. I hope i didn't sound mean. Sometimes I express too bluntly in English.

Hey Anon!

Thank you. And no, you didn't misunderstand anything. You read the books and you got exactly what you were supposed to have gotten out of them.

I've been in this fandom for a long time, and I'll be honest, to this day, I am baffled by how some people misconstrue the text so badly. SJM is not a complete writer with themes and language that's difficult to understand. She is pretty basic, actually. So anyone who claims that there are all these shocking SECRET things in her books about couples or word is either willfully ignorant or tries to pull the wool over people's eyes.

And while I can sort of, kind of, understand where Gwynriel came from--a new female in the series, dislike for Elain, Azriel and Gwyn being single, Emerie being hinted at as a lesbian, them being in the same vicinity, etc. To this day, I CANNOT understand Bryceriel. I think it was born on Reddit. But it's one of the more bizarre ships out there, not only because they are from different worlds, with very different roles in their worlds, but also one is mated and another is in love with someone else. Do I understand Gwynriel? Yeah, I can understand. Bryceriel? Not so much. Because if bonds don't matter, if love doesnt matter, then why not just pain Azriel with Nesta???? It makes more sense than Bryceriel.

I don't think that you need to worry--Elriel has been set up consistently, SJM never wavered from them, she only pushed Elriel even more in ACOSF. They are also the two characters who are entwined with numerous storylines and can push the plot of the series forward.

It's hard to shut out the noise about GA and Bryceriel, but it's been very muted and minimized in the past 2 years, and especially this last year. Be thankful that you weren't in this fandom in 21-22. It was rough.

All we can do now is sit back and wait for the book to be announced and published.

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joels-shitty-puns · 2 years ago

Text

The Key To Your Heart - Track 4

Pairing: Pedro Pascal x Musician!Reader

Gif by:@sh214

*! New warnings will be listed first !*

Series Warnings: 18+ only (MDNI). Mentions of food, weight loss, weight gain, dieting, weighing, potential eating disorder, food guilt. Potential for puns/dad jokes (name of my blog, and the fic) should give that away. This is my first fic which should be its own warning, lol. Also some cursing. Mentions of masturbation (f) maybe more smut later idk. Sadness, reader is pretty depressed. Poor body image. Rude people. Bullying-ish and just lack of support? Anxiety. Age gap! Reader is in her mid 20's, Pedro is current age (48).

Word Count: ~2.3K

Series List: Here!

Miss last chapter? Here!

Hi there! To those of you who have read and are still with me, THANK YOU! I love you all. I'm sorry that my chapters are taking longer and longer. Work has been a bit more hectic lately and I also just had some serious writer's block with this chapter. That being said, it feels a little rough and I apologize if its awful lol. But either way, thanks for hanging in there with me and please let me know what you think! Your comments make me happy!

__________

You groaned, stepping out of bed and drifting towards the bathroom. Your face was sticky and your eyes stung from crying late into the night. It was silly, naive, and frankly stupid… but sometimes you can't control how hard emotions hit. Seeing that Pedro didn't actually watch your video was a let down - to put it mildly. Obviously he's a popular guy. A star. He has better things to do.

You should be grateful he even responded to your Instagram message before. Even though it hurts, surely he has more interesting things to do than message someone like you. Just because you wrote a song and he said he liked it doesn't mean he owes you anything more.

So after a fitful night's sleep, you were utterly exhausted; physically, mentally, and emotionally. Luckily, it was still your weekend and you could rest today.

More like spend the day wallowing in your self pity… you think, disdainfully at yourself.

Looking in the mirror, you notice your puffy eyes. There's some new acne, and a mop of frizzy hair on your head. After using the toilet, you step on your bathroom scale before your shower; a morning routine you started during years of dieting. Another 3 pounds. Up again?!

You look in the mirror, pinching your stomach with a sigh. I guess I shouldn't have had those cookies yesterday…

The food guilt creeps up as you think of the goodies you've eaten recently. Cookies yesterday, fast food the day before. You were bitter that you weren't one of those people that could just magically eat whatever they wanted without gaining an ounce.

But you aren't, and you should know better.

Frustrated with your appearance, you begin your usual internal debate about how to fix it.

Maybe I should go back on the diet…

But the diet caused you so many problems. Remember the stomach issues? The hunger? The lack of joy? Binge eating on cheat days until you were sick?

But! I lost so much weight!

Yeah, until you started gaining weight…

Maybe I didn't cut enough. People said I looked so good. I was *almost* skinny.

Maybe people would like me more if I was skinny… Maybe Pedro would like me if I were skinny. There's no way he would be with me looking like this.

These were the debates that plagued you for months… years… a lifetime.

You showered, tears beginning to flow again as you tried to push out the thoughts. He was probably just busy, but either way you knew you didn't have a chance.

Your friends were right. You were an obsessed fan. It was… concerning, as they said. They pitied you when you felt sad about your feelings. Just find someone you actually have a chance with, they pushed. Someone real.

But... he did message you. Maybe he didn't even know you had an interview yesterday? Maybe he watched it later. You were being utterly ridiculous. It didn't matter anyway.

But what you didn't know was that Pedro felt just as disappointed. He wanted to be the one on your list. The one you loved. He went to bed just as mopey as you did and woke up just the same.

_____

Having washed away your bad feelings as best as you could, you gave Skipper a kiss on his little forehead and made some coffee while scrolling Instagram. You were nervous to see what people had to say about your interview, but you had to face the music eventually.

As you could have predicted, people were running through the potential suspects (or prospects, that is) who have brown curly hair and brown eyes. Some supported you and loved your interview. Others criticized you for being too chicken to show yourself.

You weren't used to this level of attention, and you really weren't sure you enjoyed it. But you were grateful to have your two lives kept separate, your true persona still shaded in privacy.

What you did not predict, was a notification popping up from Pedro, interrupting your scrolling. Forgetting to breathe, you immediately clicked on it. If the message were food from the oven, you would've burnt your hand the way you grabbed it so fast.

Perhaps I should've been a little more chill about opening this so quickly... Oh well.

Pedro Pascal messaged you: "Hey! I watched your interview yesterday. You did fantastic. I know fame is new to you and you're nervous, but you're a natural."

Your heart swelled. He did watch it!! He must have just been busy during the live stream.

You replied: "Pedro! You watched it!?! Thank you so much. That really means a lot to me."

Pedro read your message immediately, but instead of sharing in your level of excitement, he was hit with a wave of confusion instead. She must just be trying to not hurt my feelings. She already knows I watched it.. unless she didn't even notice my name. Or she didn't care enough to look for it…?

He decided to play along with it anyway. "Absolutely, I did. I've had it marked on my calendar since the day it was announced a couple days ago and watched it as it was streamed live."

His response took you by surprise, and then made you angry. If he really watched it, he would know that they gave you a list of the people who watched it live. Why was he lying to you about it?

You started to plan out your response, maybe even send an accusatory comeback, but then you thought about it again.

Why would he lie about it? What would he gain by lying? He messaged you.

With this in mind, you instead chose to take a different approach. One better designed for fishing. One you had to be very careful about, so as not to reveal the fact that you looked for his name.

"Wait!? You watched it live? I didn't see you on the list. You're one of the few people I've spoken to who actually seem genuinely friendly and interested in having a conversation with me. I had sort of hoped you were listening."

There. That doesn't sound too revealing, right? Totally friendly…

Pedro opened your message and was met with both confusion, and something else he wasn't expecting. Hope. Did you look for his name??

Still, he wanted to address the confusion. "You didn't see me on the list? That's odd.. but I'm sure there were a lot of names to scan through. Maybe my name was just buried in that list."

You knew it wasn't buried. He was the only name you looked for. The only name you cared about seeing on that list, not that you'd admit that to him right now. But you also didn't want him to feel that insignificant either.

"There were a lot of names, I'll give you that. But I swear you weren't there. Were you logged into your account? Maybe your Internet crashed, or you missed part of it?"

Instantly he remembered the ten or so minutes that Oscar interrupted him.

Oscar!

"Oh shit! That's it. Oscar barged into my house while I was watching it and I slammed my laptop closed."

"Oscar… Isaac? Wait, why did you slam your laptop closed?"

"Yeah, that's the one. And… I don't know. He just surprised me, I guess. It wasn't a planned visit."

Slamming your laptop closed is an odd reaction to your friend visiting, but okay, you thought.

"So you closed your laptop, and missed a few minutes. And that must have been the moment they pulled the list of viewers."

Pedro replied. "It must have. But I was there, more than happy to listen to what you had to say"

If my name had been on the list, would her answer have been different? When asked whether the man she loved was on the list and she said no, would my name have changed anything? Pedro wanted to ask you these questions. But he couldn't. Not only was he scared, but he also didn't want it to come off as some douchey comment that made you uncomfortable. He wanted to get to know you better, even if just as a friend, and he wouldn't let a silly little crush ruin that.

You sent a response that could be deemed as friendly or neutral, still cautious. "Thank you Pedro. I'm really glad you watched it."

He replied without hesitancy. "Of course. But, I am sorry that your guy wasn't on that list."

He sounds genuine. Not like he's fishing for information like everyone else on the internet. In turn, you decide to be playful with your response. Risky, but still not too revealing. "It's okay. It turns out that list wasn't as accurate as I once thought it was" you typed with a smirk.

"So maybe he was watching after all," Pedro answered.

"Maybe he was."

Pedro soon changed the subject, "I did enjoy hearing about your favorite things, though. You may know this already, but I love movies. Some of the ones you mentioned are a couple of my favorites as well. But as for your favorite books, I haven't read them, but I've been meaning to find a new book to read."

The fact that he was a reader made your heart flutter; the thought of him sitting with a book, his glasses perched on his nose, brow furrowed as he stroked his thumb over his lip in deep concentration. You were overjoyed at the thought of him reading *your* favorite book and potentially having someone to talk to about it. Before you knew it, you had frantically sent multiple excited messages.

You: "Oh! If you read any of my favorite books we HAVE to talk about them!"

Second message: "AGH the first book I mentioned is my favorite, out of all of them. The ending blew my mind. And the characters were just so amazing! Well except for that one guy.. but I won't spoil that…"

Third message: "But my favorite character has the greatest lines!!! Sometimes I like to quote it but nobody else gets it. And the way the author describes the settings is so magical, it makes you want to be there."

Pedro caught himself smiling at his phone, wrapped up in your excitement, as you were finally able to talk to someone about your favorite book. It was adorable how happy you seemed.

He started to type a reply when you sent another message. "Shoot… I'm sorry. I got a little too carried away…"

"Who told you that?"

Huh?

"Who told me what?" You asked.

"Who made you feel like you had to stop talking when you became excited about your interests?"

His question took you aback, but your mind struggled to pinpoint the answer to it. There's been so many people that have told you that over the years. People you assumed were friends. An old crush who didn't like multiple text messages at once. Classmates who would complain or make fun. It was routine.

"Oh. It's not a big deal. It's just something I've heard over the years. But I also know how I get and I don't want to be too much. I'm sorry. I don't want to monopolize the conversation too much either. But hey, you didn't mention, what are your favorite books?" You tried to change the topic.

Pedro felt that protective feeling bubble up in his chest again.

"Over the years!? There have been multiple occasions?" Pedro shook his head, even though you couldn't see through the text. "I'm sorry anyone ever made you feel that way or said anything to imply that your interests weren't worthy of being heard. Fuck them. They should be thankful that you shared your interests."

They should be grateful to hear your beautiful voice get so excited. To get to see your excitement and smile, Pedro thought to himself angrily. He hoped he could someday witness you getting excited over your interests in person too.

"Thank you Pedro. But really, it's okay. I know I get a little… obsessive and crazy, especially with sending multiple texts, so I don't blame them. Haha. :)" you tried to soften the mood.

"I don't want you to ever feel that way with me. I liked hearing you talk about your interests."

You began to type, but Pedro beat you to the punch.

"In fact… if you'd like to talk more," he gave you his phone number. "Feel free to text me, or you can call me too. I like talking on the phone, but I know not everyone does."

Holy shit. Is this real life? Did Pedro Pascal just give me his phone number? And ask me to call him?

Truthfully, your introverted self really didn't like talking on the phone. But the idea of talking to Pedro, hearing his voice on the other end of your phone was too much to handle.

What you didn't realize, was that Pedro wanted it just as bad.

Your fingers danced over your phone keyboard, trying to find the right words for a reply. What do you say when the love of your life (that you didn't think you would ever have a chance with) gives you his phone number?

Pedro watched anxiously as the three dot-dot-dots of typing appeared and disappeared over and over. His heart was racing, and he began to worry he may have overstepped this time.

Why did you give her your number? She's going to think you like her!!!

But you do like her, you idiot, Pedro berated himself.

He ran his hand down his face, waiting for your response in agonizing suspense. But instead of hearing the pop of a notification, his phone began to ring instead, an unknown number displayed on the home screen.

Wait… is that her? Is she CALLING me?!

He answered frantically, practically dropping his phone in the process.

"Hello?"

"Hello? Pedro? It's me.."

You heard him give a breathless laugh before answering with a gentle "Hi."

_____

Thank you for reading!! Let me know your thoughts :) More will be coming soon. I know this is a painfully slow burn lol. Thanks for being patient.

Next chapter! Here

_____

Taglist: (Want in? Let me know!)

@pedrotonin @starcrossed02 @lightupsketchersperson @cartoon-garbage04 @tyferbebe @maryfanson @gwendibley84 @faithfullyyours2000 @brilliantopposite187 @hc-geralt-23 @jenniferpendragon

#pedro pascal #pedro pascal fanfic #pedro pascal x you #a! wrote a fic #pedro pascal fanfiction #pedro pascal fic #pedro pascal fluff #pedro pascal rpf #pedro pascal smut #pedro pascal x reader #rpf #pedro pascal x musician!reader #pedro pascal x y/n #pedro pascal x plus sized! reader #pedro pascal x afab!reader #key to your heart

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